HUgs Ren... the first weeks are the hardest- you are doing a great job!! Keep up the good work!!
We had attatchment issues to start with too, and i got VERY sore nipples, it was suggested to me to use a different position for bfeeding then i had been when i got the sore nipples, as with a different position she will be sucking on a differnt part of the nipple and it might help a little- i tried the "football" hold i had to put DS on a few pillows next to me with his feet under my arm pits and his head infront of my boobie (does that make sense????) It may or may not help with the attatchment too. It helped to ease the pain and made bfeeding a little more bearable while my nipples healed.
The other thing i did which some people may call me crazy for- but i swear it worked.. i would say to DS "Big OPen Mouth" before he was about to attach, if he didnt open his mouth big and wide- i wouldnt let him attach, when he did do it right i gave him lots of praise and he got to get on... after a few goes, he seemed to actually understand and he would open his mouth big on command- I'm not joking, it worked for me!!!
I would follow the other great advice here and look into seeing LC to be sure its all going well oh and i understand the having to be wrapped thing with the arms, and DS would get groggy too my trick was when he woke up- straight on the boob for say 20 minutes, a little tickle under his chin or a rub of his cheek if he looked like he was nodding off and once he was feeding i would slowly unwrap him bit by bit while feeding- then i would stop- really re-wake him by changing his nappy- re wrap and then 20 mins on the other boob But let him fall asleep- the first feed was the most important for me, and i would switch which boobie was the "first side" as he would generally feed more in the first 20 minutes ( i dont know where i got the 20 mins thing from, but i remember at hospital they wouldnt let me go home till he would feed for at least 10 minutes each side without falling asleep- and i think i doubled it to be extra sure i was feeding him enough!!)
Ok i think thats enough blubbering out of me, sorry its late and you know me i tend to waffle on- i hope some of this helped- good luck and keep trying, the pain does go away, and it is worth the pain in the end once you and bubs get the hang of feeding!!
Oh one more thing---- YES DRINK LOADS OF WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have a big 1.5 litre bottle close to you at all times and drink drink drink!!!!! It will make you feel better and it will help with your supply!!
Oh and have a cry if you need to- let out your frustration with a big bawl, so that you dont have it all bottled up when you try to feed- it will make you feel better, and it is completely normal to get emotional!!!
Ren you have some fantastic advice here and I applaud your determination and seeking help at this difficult time. It can be so frustrating but know that you are not alone. Ive breastfed all my babies into toddlerhood but I still find those first few weeks so difficult, ouchy and teary!
For me it definately sounds like attachment may not be right, so like the girls have said, get hold of a LC. When my nipples were sore after having gone through the same thing not so long ago, I expressed and found it such a relief. It actually gave my nipples a chance to heal in between the feeds until we got our attachment right. One feed with attachment not being quite right can result in grazing which can really really hurt and be enough to be wary next feed.
I really think its important to keep up water intake as well. I tend to drink water with every feed and as much as I need to in between feeds.
Please please try and relax. Know that how you are feeling is very very normal. What you are describing sounds like me just a few weeks ago and we have had no probs whatsoever since.
babe i could have written the same post just a short time ago! but it is so true, it does get easier.........
sometimes i had to get dd1 to hold down the baby's arms - and they still often get in the way...
i started taking fenugreek, i found it really helped to boost my supply when they are feeling low. i also find that if i am doinbg too much (even just cleaning the house!) my boobs dont make as much milk, i really need to rest....
try some pawpaw on your boobs (black tube,no petrochemicals)
ok gotta go make breakkie but sounds like you are doing a great job hun - my problem was also that matisse had thrsh (still does!!)
Thanks so much everyone. Your replies have been so supportive.
* We are getting 5-6 wet nappies over the course of a daytime.... much more than in hospital.
* Havent had dirty nappies since thurs night....why?
* Do you need to burp a BF baby? If she's sleepy after the feed (milk drunk!) can i just put her down???
* Attachment only hurts for the initial latch on and after say 8 secs it doesnt hurt.
I feel its cos my nipples are so sore and trying to heal.
* i'm expressing to help with top up feeds incase DD isnt getting enuf. Also to relieve my painful nipples. Should i put the pump away???
* I rang ABA Thurs but felt the person i spoke to wasnt all that helpful. Supportive yes. Just didnt feel i got much out of it.
* I feel my milk is slowly diminishing perhaps becoz i've not offered the breast as often as i should be. Today will make sure she feeds every 2-3hrs and not 4+.....
* Will keep skin to skin today...no wrapping...see if that helps her stay awake. Just have to tuck her arms out of the way every 2secs!!!
* Is it normal for her to have her eyes shut the whole feed? Sometimes she is more awake & looks around.
* DH couldnt take time off as we have a business however he is so supportive and cooks,cleans,washes etc. All i need to do is feed DD and rest. He even gets up to settle her so i can rest....
Im going to ring ABA as soon as Ava is done feeding here.... (yep typing 1 handed has taken 4eva to type this!) I will ask them 4 a LC contact. Be great to have someone come to me seeing as i am not confident leaving house yet.
One last thing..... average feed lasts 45-1hr....is that normal? After this, we burp her and sit her up as she gets ALOT of wind. This can take 30mins. Then we settle her and put her down then 5mins later she'll cry....we resettle her before she gets too upset...then more wind....then she calms then screams.....this can go on for up to 2-3hrs. by thetime we get her down and shes exhausted from screaming....then its time for her next feed!!!! but we dont want to wake her becos she just got down and we need a break/sleep too!!!!!
WHY is she doingthis? is she hungry??? COLICKY????
And ooooh yes just about every day i have cried over BF..... its hard work!!!
*Good number of wet nappies
*Normal for a bfed baby to go a few days without a poo- it will vary- usually after a few days without you will get a day or two with more than one
*Yes you do need to burb her- i found burping at the half time point helped, and then i found we got in a cycle of if i burped him after the last 20mins he would wake up and need to be resettled- its trial and error- if you put her down and she wakes and needs more burping, then it happens, and yes sometimes the resettling then takes a long time and you are still trying to resettle by the time she should be waking up again- this happens, try some Infants friend- it was our lifesaver!!! You give Ava a few drops before you feed and a few after and it helps her wind
Dirty Nappies b/fed babies can go up to 2 weeks without doing a poo, I usually find that it happens when they are growing and are using more of your milk to do so.
I do think that putting the pump away will be a good idea, like you said just feed more often and she will get more/make more.
With her hands can you tuck one under your arm/breast and then you will only have one to contend with.
Julian for the first month or so use to feed for up to an hour per feed so I would say that it is normal and he also use to have his eyes closed most of the feed, the sucking is like a comfort thing, as long as you are getting fast sucks at the beginning and long slower sucks after let down then it is fine.
*it will still hurt to start with when attaching even if she is attching right until your nipples heal- the pain is just because they are sore and VERY tender- it will pass, if it lasts longer than the 8 seconds or doesnt go away- then she might not be on right, but its normal for it still to hurt a bit even when she is
*As long as your expressing AFTER you feed its ok- but if its stressing you out- then ditch the pump and persevere through the pain and keep offering breast only. You milk supply will settle down a bit- hence why your not leaking as much, its not disapearing, just settling down- the more you feed the more you will make- sometimes it feels like your empty- but trust me there is still some there for her!!
* the more you wake her up- the more she will get used to it and start waking on her own. So yes wake her up if she sleeps any longer than three hours for sure!! within a few days (maybe a week) she will start to do it on her own
*With the arms, once she is attached its ok for her to kind of grope you.. lol it stimulates the milk glands in your breast (have you ever seen puppies feed off their mum, they are constantly kneading the tits) it helps the milk flow, so she may be trying to do that, of course, keep them away while your trying to attach, but let her grope once she is on if she wants to
*Yes its normal for her to have her eyes closed- as long as she is still feeding she is feeding! DS still feeds with his eyes shut, and towards the end of the feed she may slow down and start sucking only every now and then, but just give her a tickle or a rub on her cheek and that will get her going again- and yes 45 mins to an hour is normal too- let her dictate how long she feeds for, dont pull her off even if it looks like she is done. If she falls off, continue to hold her in the feeding position incase she wakes and decides she wants more- or let her pull herself off. And she still may want more- Shane used to pull off, rest his head on my boobie and a few mionutes later he would often go back for seconds. That might be why she is crying after you have put her down- she may still be a little hungry. Dont be in a rush- just sit back relax and let her feed away!!
I hope that has helped you sweetie- keep going, your doing a great job!!!
Ren, you're doing a fabulous job honey, it really is hard work, bit it DOES get better.
I really think you need a good LC to come to your house. Hopefully Barb will pop in here and be able to recommend one in your area. In fact I would go so far as to suggest that you PM her and tell her where you live, and ask for a recommendation. And include a link to this thread so she can come and read about what's happening.
In the meantime it's really important that you feed every 2-3 hours. I would suggest giving her 20 minutes on each side and then trying to settle her. You might find that if she's crying for awhile afterwards you can put her back on the second side for a bit. Try not to watch the clock too much, and don't worry that it's 'too soon'. There's no such thing when it comes to BF babies! This might feel like a hellish vicious circle, but once Ava gets the hang of what's going on, and how to be hungry (ie. demand food) things will settle down somewhat.
It's great that you're only feeling pain for the first 8 seconds, but I still think it's a good idea to check your attachment, JIC there's something going on there. I can't remember if you said, has someone checked for TT?
Skin to skin feeding sounds brilliant, it will really help things, although it might not be immediately apparent. Just chill out with your baby, rest on the couch, or lie in bed, watch TV, sleep, whatever appeals. Try to make your day as relaxing as possible.
Sorry to be garbled again I really recommend getting on to Barb with that PM. You can do this Ren, you will get there!
Guys lets remember that although it is normal for older BF babies to go some time without a poo, it's not normal for newborns. We like to see them pooing at least once a day.
I feel soooo bad now.. perhaps she's been crying for milk yet i think she's just finished and being unsettled.... i know im still learning her different cries etc. But hows that for mummy guilt!!!
Ive set my alarm on my phone to go off every 3hrs!! And ur right, soon she should be waking more often.
I quite often let her burp then try to put her back to same side. I alternate boobs per feed. And perhaps i am rushing it and instead give her more time...... so she may not have colic???? could it be that i just didnt let her finish properly?????
She loves being held close to us and in the sling. Quite often Dh settles her in the sling after i feed her.....she just loves being close to us so maybe the skin to skin will help her feedmore effectively and happily.
Congratulations on your bub.
Everyone has given you such great advice so I will just add a couple of things.
I suffer from cracked nipples since Olive's birth 4 months ago and it took ages to sort out all the problems so it's really important to get onto the ABA or an LC ASAP. I unfortunatly ended up with thrush and staph so I can't stress enough the importance of getting good help early on, just keep ringing until you do.
If they say the attachment is good also get them to check your nipples after a feed and your baby's mouth again. Olive has a high palette and short fenulum which is what causes my cracks but she was over 2 months old by the time it was discovered. I express pretty much full time but still bf at least once a day even if just for comfort. I found expressing an enormous relief in those early weeks, I would express for a few days then go back to bf as I was cringing and dreading every bf and that isn't a healthy way to be with a new baby. I used a bottle but Olive has luckily had no trouble going between the two. The thought of her spilling some of the precious bm from a cup was way to scary for me. I agree with all the comments about drinking lots of water and also make sure you eat really well and sleep as much as possible. Invest in a good pump if thats what you want to do and don't worry if you don't get much, it's not an indicator of low supply, your baby drains the breast much more effeciantly.
* in regards to the possible fast flow maybe try lying down to feed, takes abit to get used to but I found this gentler on the nipples as the baby can approach the cracks from a different angle as well.
* Olive was very unsettled in the early weeks so in the end we took her to an osteopath. Turns out she had a compressed neck from labour which put everything out including her gut. We only had one session where the osteo did some gental excercises and from that day forward she was a different baby. She slept and fed much better and her wind pains seemed to all but disappear, much happier girl and a much happier family. I would highly recommend this.
* I also agree with airing the nipples as much as possible. Also if you can use washable cotton breast pads as they breathe alot better. Don't face towards the water in the shower as your nipples can get 'water logged' causing further damage. In the beginning I hated Lansinoh and thought that I was better off without it but I use it again now. I have also tried using apricot kernal oil which works well but you need to wash it off before a feed.
Good luck with your BFing journey and enjoy your new baby.
Ren, Barb has given you such wonderful advice I forgot to mention the whole burp/nappy change thing inbetween sides........it really does help, and gives her time to realise that she really wants to wake up for that second side! I second the advice of not being scared to feed her often......I was when DS was little, god only knows why, but things really looked up once I got over that.
Hang in there, and let us know how you go with the LC
YAY!!! We got a DIRTY nappy 30 mins ago after her feed!! I changed her and woops it was still coming out.... I'm so glad!! Must mean today she got more milk!!
Been feeding her consistently every 3hrs. I found she attached much better today too perhaps cos' she isn't so hungry when she is attaching?? I think that's why. Before she was going longer between feeds so she'd be sleepier and grumpier cos' she was hungry! Am i right saying that?
Janie - i left her just in a nappy for her last 2 feeds today and it went well!! I loved the skin to skin. Felt closer to her. MR - her poo's are frothy and brown/caramel colour. HJ - i don't think a cool facewasher is cruel, sounds like a great idea! I splashed gently some water on her eyes before to wake her and it didnt really help lol thanks for ur support! Barb - thank you for taking the time to type all that for me. It sure helps. Ava attached after an hour of the birth.... had a few ppl in the room after the birth and stitching me up it was quite distracting (and painful) so focus wasnt on her feeding straight away as much as i would have liked. I didnt have any drugs not even gas cos' i didnt want her to be affected for that very reason. We did get her attached with a MW and she did suckle for a bit and the MW said she did well.... I think I just didnt feed her often enough in hospital because i had no idea what i was doing. (i have huge guilt over that but i know i have to get over that as im learning).
Is salt water (from the beach) okay to put on my nipples in between feeds? It sure feels like its healing my nipples.... they feel better. I've stayed away from lansinoh today because I don't think she likes the taste of it and seems to be fussy at the boob with it on.
Oh, and my nipples "most" of the time remain the right shape and not like a lipstick etc i know what you mean...cos in hospital that was happening at the beginning so we have definitely improved on the attachment for sure.
NJD - thank you. No, she is awake but eyes closed. She is always sucking if she stops longer than few secs (you know how they take those breaks in between sucks) then i will tickle her chin that gets her going again.
Olivesmummy - i've been advised about seeing an Osteopath - I might do that. Will look into it after i see LC. Thank you.
You are right about those disposable breast pads. My boobs stick to them! They arent very breathable are they? I have a few cotton one's... must get more.
Well she just fed for 20mins at L side, then came off so I burped her. Then she fed 20mins R side so i burped her as she pulled off. Then after 20mins in the sling she started crying again so i couldnt settle her so i thought okay out with the boob again, so i did and she took the R side again (figured i should try to finish that side) and she took it for 15mins just now. And is now crying again..... probably just wants a cuddle! And she has sooo much wind!!!!
Will let you know how it goes tomorrow - feeling more confident thank you ladies so so much.
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but we dont want to wake her becos she just got down and we need a break/sleep too!!!!! 
. Sounds like its tough at the moment but you are a brilliant mother! Hang in there babe.
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I really recommend getting on to Barb with that PM. You can do this Ren, you will get there! 
I forgot to mention the whole burp/nappy change thing inbetween sides........it really does help, and gives her time to realise that she really wants to wake up for that second side! I second the advice of not being scared to feed her often......I was when DS was little, god only knows why, but things really looked up once I got over that. 
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