Hi Trish.

you poor thing. It's so hard when they won't feed, and such a worry.

How often is she feeding ATM? She sounds like a tired baby with not much energy, and is spacing her feeds to rest more because the energy the tackling of the infection and IV gave her is dropping off again. How many wet and dirty nappies is she having?

Do you pump? Until she is feeding well pumping/expressing (by hand can be VERY effective IME) is the next best thing to protect your supply and will give her a chance to sort herself out without having to sort the supply out at the same time.

Does she suck to let-down or come off even before that? It can be hard work for them sucking at the start when the rewards are scant - you could try pumping/expressing until you get letdown and THEN putting her on when the milk is flowing already. That way she isn't having to try so hard and the milk is instant.

Is it formula or bottles you don't wish to use? You could offer EBM in a cup or a spoon? If you don't want either then talk to ABA about borrowing/hiring a lact-aid system and using your EBM that way. An electric pump is often easier to deal with when you have a bunch of kids to look after and need to do the job fast.

Another thing which might help is ALOT of skin to skin time with you. Do you have a HAB or similar wrap you can put her in while you are topless and she is just in a nappy?

If she attached well at birth then the knowledge is in there and something is interfering with it somehow - maybe a re-birth together would help? Have a long, warm bath together, in a dim room, and if you had oils or anything at the birth then those too, to remind her, keep her near your boobs but don't offer particularly, just let her do her own thing. Stay there as long as possible, no interruptions (a toughie i know - get DH to take the kids out and have a female friend come over and just be in the house to help but away from the two of you) and have some peaceful time together. You need to find your groove again together, and you will hun.

Are you touching her head when she feeds? I only ask because of what you said about holding her head in tight. Try not to do so, instead supporting her shoulders and neck so she can pull off freely if she needs to. She might have residual birth headaches or feel panicky if she feels she can't move away (you can lead a horse to water..), which will put her off feeding even more. I know how frustrating it is when they won't feed and you just love them so much and feel so worried and just want them to FEED. :hugs:

My last suggestion is the hardest to practice and i know exactly how hard. Try to relax. Your anxiety will pass to her, which will make her worry something is wrong and she will be even less inclined to relax and feed. Try to slow RIGHT down and get as much of your strain as possible taken by friends and family. Take deep breaths. You are doing everything you can, you are a determined, loving, experienced mother, this WILL resolve.

Bx