Should I be doing something.....?

[MummaSue]

Ok, broken record time.

DD is 9.5 months old. STILL not eating solids well and breast feeding like a newborn. We're doing BLS and she seems really enthusiastic about stuff but it gets spat out after a few chews. In the afternoons all we do is lie down and feed, we can be in the bedroom for 3 hours some days. On and off. She still wakes 2 hourly overnight for a feed - and she's not just comfort sucking, she takes a really good feed.

I know that this is what babies do...... I know this. But shouldn't we be eating a bit more and breast feeding a bit less at her age? I'm starting to feel a teeny bit burnt out.

If someone says no, this is fine, then that is cool.
I'm exhausted but not "over it" if that makes sense. I just want to know if there is something I should be doing. I feel like I'm missing something.

[starangelk]

Hi MummaSue....I wish I could say YES this is normal or NO this is not normal and you should do this and there will be a magical fix. My personal opinion is that every breastfeeding journey is different so I think this might be normal for you. A couple of thoughts and please, these are just suggestions - I realise that they might not suit others (yourself included.) Does she take a bottle? Have you considered expressing and seeing how much milk she takes in that afternoon period? It might also help you to understand if she is hungry or just comfort sucking. While this won't change anything and she will still want to feed lots in the afternoons, I find a bit of knowledge power and you might find it easier if you know WHY she is feeding. I half suspect she is just comfort sucking and in that case I guess you have to decide if you are cool with that OR if you want to try something else to help her through the afternoon. Like a dummy? With the food thing, I think just persist. Whenever I get down about DD and food, I actually remember something you posted which was along the lines of "I trust DD to BF and get as much as she needs so I will do the same with the food" and that really helps me Clearly you are just a super awesome mummy with super awesome milk and your bubba doesn't want to be without your boobies at all. This mothering thing is hard work hey. Xx

[~Kim~]

babe, I know the feeling.
I'm no expert and I can only go on my personal experience with Nate, but he was just like that. I felt like I might as well wear no shirt...it was just a hindrance. I was so desperate I even tried EBM to get a break...only he refused that.
He still eats very little and still, frustratingly, spits lots of stuff out. But, that said he'll have a go. And gradually over time he is improving. He still had 3 night feeds at least until about 15-16months (not trying to scare you, just show you that some babies do). And like you said they were really good feeds. Sometimes even now I know he's starving in the middle of the night, but he gets (embarrassed here) a piece of dry bread, and we sit and eat it in bed in the dark, just like the feeds.

[MummaSue]

Starangelk - thank you hun. DD doesn't take a bottle. Refuses to even entertain it. And I can barely get 20ml when I express because I try frequently to do this so that's not an option for us unfortunately. And she also won't take a dummy either, we tried her in the beginning and now I just think that giving her one now would be a step backwards.

Kim - thank you too, it's helpful to know that it's not just me!

Thanks for understanding, I think I really just needed to hear that this is what "normal" is for us.

I'm loving this mummy business, it's awesome. And I know I'm a bit tired just now but I just keep reminding myself that in a few years, i am going to wish she was this small again. And I'll be wishing that my only worry is that we get to lie around all afternoon

[tanyaya]

I just keep reminding myself that in a few years, i am going to wish she was this small again. And I'll be wishing that my only worry is that we get to lie around all afternoon

I have no advice, other than "this too will pass".... and i chuckled at your last line.... because you will one day look back at this time through a different perspective.

ahhh - it's so easy to write these words to someone else!! we're having a baby soon and i'm thinking about all of the fun things like bleeding for 6 weeks after birth and sore nipples and will have to remind myself of this philosophy then!!

[onthefly]

DS didn't drop any feeds till 11 months - including at least 4-5 overnight. he started really eating more after 14-15 months

[sloane]

i agree with the PP who said it may be normal for your DD & that there isn't really a yes or no answer in general!

DS fed like an absolute trooper for what felt like ages. i did find afternoons the toughest - but also noticed that if we were out & about, DS was far less interested in a feed. if we stayed home, he'd be demanding feeds. so distraction techniques worked (if i felt drained by it all).

overnight i've only noticed a change in the last few weeks - until then DS was definitely still having a decent feed (waking 2 hourly). now it's more a comfort thing & i think we're ready to nightwean. how much DS eats at dinner has never had any noticable impact on his sleep.

i think your DD is old enough for you to experiment a bit with distraction, different snacks etc if you feel like a change would be beneficial - remember you need some TLC as well & maybe some time away from feeding in the afternoons may be what helps you get through the tough nights

[CinderToriella]

DD still wakes every couple of hours at night for a feed, she to has a big drink ,during the day we feed every few hours sometimes more it depends on each day, during the afternoons i also go into the bedroom, we hang out and feed mostly , ii sleep as well if she does , or i relax and just chill out its a great way to re group u know

We are doing BLS as well, and some days she eats more some days less, some days i feel she doesnt want anything where others she scoffs everything we give her,i dont worry about it as i feel its pretty normal to have days like this ,i know she eats solids when she wants them, i trust she knows what she needs and when, and i know you do as well Sue, i know you have confidence in yourself and your bub to know your doing the right thing.I know that DD is still getting a lot of BM and if thats what she needs then thats what she needs.

You and your DD are doing a great job, go with the flow , you know she knows what she needs hun I find things change from day to day, minute to minute so i just go with it I also find some days all DD will want is chicken then the next with only want cheese for example , so just keep trying different foods if she spits one out or cries , she may just want something different

ETA like you said in a few years you will be wishing she was small again, so just go with it sweetheart, just enjoy every minute of it and try not to worry to much

[OceanPrincess]

Sue, you have such a fantastic attitude about this whole mothering caper hun. Every post of yours I read is positive in some way, even if you are having a minute (my-newt, not minute as in time lol), misicule, tiny, eeny weeny smidgen of a complaint that your loved one is doing something that is tiring you out. And BF is quite tiring... I read somewhere recently (on here? maybe?) that it takes 60% more calories to BF a child than when you are just a standard woman. It is even more calories than when you are pg, so no wonder you are feeling a little burned out. Yet you still manage to see the positive side - I applaud that. You have such a great take on things.

Anyway onto your post. One suggestion from me - do you have someone you can leave her with for a few hours in the afternoon? Or even an hour, initially? Give her a feed, then you leave her - whether someone comes to your house, you take her somewhere, or even maybe going to the shops might do initially. I'm thinking of a distraction from you and your super (.)(.) ( ) - just so you can see whether she is feeding because she's hungry, bored (I doubt this one...), wanting comfort, or something else maybe.

My DS was being really slack with his day feeds recently (opposite of your problem hehe) and making up for it overnight, with 1-2hrly feeds... the last few days I have been helping DH paint our new house, so I've been leaving him with the MIL and ducking back for feeds. She calls me when he's ready for a feed and I've noticed he feeds really well when I turn up and I'm starting to see an impact at night, last night he fed at 10pm then not til 6am I'm so excited by this because I was exhausted too and I was wanting to do something about it.

Alternatively... can you doze off while she feeds for three hours in the afternoon? Sounds pretty heavenly to me

[Arcadia]

You're awesome

And your babe knows exactly what she's doing. My dd was always a frequent feeder and now at 2 doesn't go two hours without a meal or snack. We had to give her bananas in the night when my milk started drying up in pregnancy, and even now she wakes up starving. Some babies are just hungry. I found the milk/food ratio changed dramatically after 14 months, and now dd only has food...and believe me, flopping out a boob is so much easier than preparing multiple portable snacks/meals a day!!!! She drives me nuts with her 'I'm hungry!' whinge!

This too shall pass...op is right too about your attitude being awesome...I wish I could have some of those moments back again, because it really does go so quickly!

[Barb Glare]

All good as far as I can see. I have to say that, expressing tells you absolutely nothing about the amount of milk you have for your baby - nada. And even if you knew how many mls she was getting it wouldn't tell you anything about how much she wanted or needed. And the scoop is - for babies food is not the main game in regard to breastfeeding - it's the relationship. The closeness to you is what she wants and that's more important than the milk. It's normal to be tired, and normal to wish it was otherwise - but you know you are doing great

[Jellyfish]

My DD was like this and to be honest, didn't really start eating substantially till a few weeks ago (she is 22 months now, sorry if that scares you but remember, breastmilk provides such a large percentage of their needs, especially before 12mo). We had a guest stay with us so I decided to start a "feeds in bed" type deal (still anytime she wanted but we had to go to the other room) and that saw her cut back from 12+ feeds a day to 6-7 (including 2-3 overnight) because it meant taking time out from all the fun. I've kept that up because, well, I am ready now to start slowing down and this seemed to work as a gentle discouragement from feeding 24/7. She hasn't been upset or anything, she just comes and holds out her hand for me to be lead to the bed when she would like some milk. The feeds are usually shorter now too. It was a knock-on from this that her solid intake started increasing so that's an idea for when she gets a bit older and to say that yeah, I did have to push a little in the end but for now, I'd just leave it be.

I wouldn't worry, really -- breastmilk is wonderful. It can seem tiring, I'm still in the middle of it and occasionally get that 'over it' feeling. My DD never took a bottle or dummy either although I never really tried with the bottle business but you can do it, you are doing it and breastfeeding actually takes very little toll on the body, we are designed for this

[MummaSue]

Thank you so much everyone, you're responses have given me a boost in energy.

I love love love breast feeding, it is such a special time.

Thanks again
Sue x