Im using the medela pump in style. I apparently have huge nipples so they touch the sides of the flange and it stings. I start off on a low setting them turn it up accordoingly. Im not sure if Medela do a larger flange?
yeah it shouldn't be hurting, if it is, like suggested, it must be the wrong fit for you. I am sure you can get a bigger one. Did you check out Medela yet? There is a great website called Nursing Angel where I just bought some Medela stuff off, you can try them?

I'm so sorry to hear things are so tough for you, it really is so hard when you know bub is nearly 2mths old and you're still struggling. As you know, I've been there. I promise it will get easier for you although it seems so hard at the moment.....DD was always a sleepy baby too (at one stage due to not getting enough milk etc!) and it was so hard getting her to have a proper feed as she'd fall asleep ALOT!! Even after cold washes on her tummy etc.

proud of you for doing so much for your daughter, with 2 other kids to look after.