Did you have a caesarean? Was it an elective caesarean or an emergency caesarean? How did you feel about it? Are you planning on having a caesarean (an elective caesarean or for medical reasons)?
I thought it was about time I joined in as I will be having an elective caesar due but due to medical reasons. I have problems with my spine so it was suggested by my spinal specialist years ago that I shouldnt attempt natural birth.
It doesnt faze me at all really, I mean he was a specialist and wouldnt exactly say something like that without good reason.
My problem is. So many people keep making me feel like having a caesarian somehow leaves you feeling less bonded with your child, as if because you didnt push your baby out somehow you fail as a mother. Has anyone else been made to feel this?
Now usually I would tell people to just shut up but its starting to upset me. I explain my reasons but still people just dont understand... but I know you all will!
I'm booked in for February 3rd. My OB even let me chose the day!!! He is really understanding and understands my concerns. I'm also a little scared because both my mother and her sister had so many complications (my mum had ovarian cysts and a forced hysterectomy at 32 and my aunt died from pre-eclampsia) so I guess both other reasons I would have chosen an elective caesarian if I didnt have my spinal problems.
Thats a little about me! Thanks for listening and I look forward to chatting more about it with you all.
PrincessT, I can totally understand why people's reactions are starting to get to you. All I can suggest is that you either totally ignore it, or don't bring up the fact that you are planning a c-section at all. After having two VB's with complications and then an emergency c-section, if I were having another baby I'd definitely have a planned c-section and if anyone had anything negative to say about it, I'd feel like shooting them down in flames!
This is YOUR health we are talking about, which is not something to be messed about with. Having had both sorts of births, I can assure you, there is NO lessening of the bonding experience with your baby.
If people are making you upset, just tell them that you are classed as a 'high-risk' pregnancy, and a c-section is recommended so that you will actually be able to walk after the birth! After my second child, I ended up using a wheelchair for six months as a result of a spinal trauma caused during labour, so I can assure you that it is a very real possibility.
I had an emergency c/s after a long labour and a lot of people made me feel bad....one even saying that I hadn't actually 'given birth'!!! I felt bad enough within myself after everything I'd been through without those kinds of comments.......
It's absolutely nobody's business but your own what you decide to do. I can totally appreciate how it is upsetting you, so perhaps to try and avoid the unnecessary stress that that brings, you could do as Kerrie suggested and perhaps not mention that you are having a c/s at all........obviously there is absolutely no shame in having a c/s and I'm not implying that, rather that you really don't need to be upset by people passing judgement on your decisions..........
I also had a emergency c/s after a 23 hour labour.People actually had the cheek to tell me that I had it easy then!A c/s is never easy and the only people who say that are people who've never had one!!!!!!!!I will be having another c/s next time though as the doc who delivered Gemma said my pelvis is quite small and I don't want to go through a 23 hour labour again only to be rushed off for a c/s!
OMG Kirsty.. The easy way out! I also got that comment!!! Some people are just plain awful. I had one of DH's mates tell me that I should've pushed harder! How much harder could I have pushed? Even though we could see DD's head, she was stuck and wasn't going anywhere!!
PrincessT, I don't have any other advice to offer, you have been given some great advice already. I hope all those nasty people keep their opinions to themselves!
Thanks ladies for your advice.. I'm still sticking to telling people I am having the caesar but I am ready with my facts to shoot back at them when they start the "you have not given birth" type of lines they go on with.
I do tell them that I hope they never have to go through a bad labour and end up with an emergency c/s. I also tell them that I am more than happy to have one and that "I think my OB knows a bit more than you do!"
I've been reading up on it to.. so I think I am pretty prepared!
PMSL Theresa about "new studies have shown...." :smt081
Princess T, I dont know if you know my story....(long one - wont go into it all now), but I had health problems and chose an elective C/S, but didnt tell anyone the date. I told some family I was having one, but wanted the birth date to be a surprise. I went into labour early anyway, so ended up with an emergency C/S. After the birth I told people I was already booked for a C/S, because my reason for it is a pretty personal one (ie - extreme haemmorroids), as you can imagine I didnt want to share this with everyone!! So I just said I had health problems and the OB thought it better that I have a C/S. Most people didnt ask any more (which surprised me) and the few that did, I just said it was personal and didnt want to go into it. I'm pretty sure that they then just assumed I had one just because I wanted to, but I dont have to prove myself to them, so who cares.
OMG Melinda about being told you havent actually given birth! Thats just awful. Some people are so ignorant. Like others are saying - no-one who has had a C/S would ever say that!!
dont let anyone make you feel any less Princess T for you decision. I think you are brave in making the choice that is best for both you and bub.
Oh thats right - I just remembered the point of the post!! LOL got off on a bit of a tangent!! Bonding.............I was reading back through one of my pg books yesterday and it was saying how if you dont get to bond with your baby straight away it will affect the way you interact with your baby later. Well the emotions I have and had for Emma couldnt be any stronger - there is just no way!! I got a little nurse of her after she was born, then DH went with her while I was stitched and in recovery so he was able to bond with her then. But I dont feel that I have any issues at all with the amount of love I have for her! Please dont let anyone make you doubt that - You will bond with your baby!! It is hard to have to wait that while, but I dont believe for a second that it affects your feelings for your baby! HTH
No problems with bonding here either. I didn't see DD for a few hours after she was born, so she had cuddles with daddy and a little feed. Everything was fine when i did see her and she latched on for a feed straight away!
Having said that, I think DD had a closer bond with DH over the first few weeks. He was the first one to hold her, bathe her, feed her. For about the first month, he would be the one to get up to her in the middle of the night to change her nappy then pass her over for a feed. She scremed the hospital down whenever he left and as soon as he came back she would settle down!
I have just been informed by my Obgyn that we are definately looking at having a c-section prolly end/late March 2006. I am currently 22 weeks and my little fella has some mild isolated Ventriculomegaly (enlarged Ventricles) so it has been proven to be a safer birth option for him. LOL. I have had 2 babies previously both natural and pain relief free and it doesnt really worry me having a c-section I just am wondering if anyone can give me any tips that might be helpful in the recovery process etc...
I am no matyr and my mums had 4 children naturally and is very sceptical about our decision. Hubby isnt worried just worried about my recovery and risk to me not little fella?? I dont feel im getting the easy way out or anything like that, seems to me from what Ive read and heard that its the harder alternative?
But yep ive still experienced some negitivity in this area, people look at me when i say well its better than the increased risk of brain damage??? they think im over reacting LOL!!!!
So if anyone can let me in on the tips and secrets I would really apprieciate it!!!!
you sound very sensible and level headed in your decision and the way you are going about this!
OK, for tips I will give you some of mine just off the top of my head....
I was hooked up to morphine for pain relief (the self medicating one where you can press the button every 5 minutes max) and had been told to press it as much as possible, so I did, and it ended up making me vomit all day, so I had to go to only oral pain releif which was not nearly enough and I felt I really suffered from this - so ask for milder pain releif to start with (I didnt even know you could ask :-s )
The midwives kept telling me when I had a shower (the next day) to stand up straight. This totally went against everything I felt like, but I did it and it seemed to help.
Dont overdo it!!! Even when you get home try to do as little as possible for a couple of weeks. I made the mistake of thinking I was fine and damaged my scar and felt like I had gone backwards in my recovery.
Anyway, thats just a few things about my recovery.
Good luck, I really think you are sensible doing what is best for your baby even though you obviously are a very capable birther (if that is a word) and just ignore other peoples negative comments (and unfortunately they are common...)
Hi all - this is my first time chatting in this area. Here's a brief overview of my
I had an emergency Caesar after a long labour (37 hours in my books as I take from when I felt the first contraction), not sure what the medical length of labour was. Bubs was just not coming out, she was an inch from being born and she kept on moving her head so the widest part was trying to come out. The Ob did try to do a ventouse extraction for 3 contractions and then they considered forceps. I ended up with a spinal and a complicated caesar, oh and I lost a litre of blood. So naturally afterwards I felt like crap.
It took me a couple of days to bond with Maggie. So I could rest DH would take her to sunny room and sit with her and read. He would bring her back when she needed feeding. I found myself one day following him down the hall to bring her back.
I still have issues about the birth, but not so much the actual caesar, but the unnecessary ventous and the rough treatment by the OB. I had started off in the birth centre where the midwives were fantastic and got the Ob with no bedside manner :mad:
Recovery was hard. I found the best way handle it was to have as many things as possible near the couch. I had a jug of water, so I wouldn't have to always get up and grab a drink. A container of biscuits to snack on, great for the night feed hunger. The hardest part of recovery was having my MIL over to "help". Physically she helped, but emotionally she almost pushed me into severe PND and having her here actually delayed further bonding with bubs. So if it was not for the caesar, I could have held her off for a few weeks longer till I was more emotionally stable.
Astrid, I'm so sorry to hear you had such a difficult birth. It sounds like it would have been so hard for you, especially your MIL. What were the complications with your C/S? Do you mind me asking?
Linda - Basically bubs was stuck. Position wise she was spot on and I was fully dilated, but she would not come out that last bit. When the Caesar was performed she was so far down the birth canal that the first Ob could not pull her out, someone taller (greater arm reach) finally got her out. DH actually watched the whole thing. He said they actually had to "hunt around" to find her. Looking at my notes they mentioned that I "tore into the angles". I'm note sure what that means.
I really should write my birth story from start to finish. Despite the distressing bits it is actually quite amusing in parts.
Oh Astrid, that would have been hard - at least you didnt knoe just then how bad it was (although i bet you felt it soon enough). i would love to read your birth story when you get around to it
We booked in today but im a bit alarmed as its the 23 march and my due date is 4 april? it doesnt seem quite early enough as i had my other 2 early so lets see!!!
My first question is My friend who I wondering is grossly misinformed said that if its an emergency they cut from bellybutton down but a planned c-section is the bikini cut??
Also can you breastfeed afterwards whilst you are still hooked up to the drugs?
Lindie - about 38-39 weeks is when they normally book you in, so that would be fine.
your friend is totally mistaken about the cut!! They only do it bikini cut!! Doesnt matter if it is scheduled or emergency!! Dont stress!!!
And BF is fine while you are still on all the drugs. The harder part about it is that you are pretty immobile. I used the hoist thing (the handle above you) to lie on my side and BF that way.
Oh - I just realised that you were worried that the date was too late, not too early. I was booked in at 37.5 weeks, but went into labour at 37 weeks. I then had an emergency C/S. The only issue with this if you are public is that you will get whichever OB is on call and not necessarily yours. I will be paying private next time to make sure I get my OB.
Caesarean General Chatter & Discussion #5
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