Sorry to gatecrash this thread....but just didn't know where to put my post...I hope I'm in the right spot...
Just wanted to write a bit of a debrief after our antenatal class last night (it was on assisted births)...it was so distressing...I came out sobbing for the next few hours...
Firstly...some history...
I've been told by my Ob. that I will probably need to have a c-section due to some uterine surgery I have had previously...the surgery I had at the time, was very new, and there isn't much research about the ongoing effects on pregnancy and birth...except that there is about a 70% c-section rate following the surgery due to the risk of uterine rupture...
Anyway...I was devastated to find out that I might have a c-section (not because I'm anti c-section...it's just not what I was wanting) and have had to work really hard to get my head and heart around the disappointment...but felt I was sort of getting there...until last night!
Last night's class was on assisted deliveries (e.g. inductions, epidurals, forceps, c-sections, etc.). We had a new midwife, who initially was very funny and entertaining...but it was clear after a while where she stood on things...
It was clear that she was very pro-induction and very pro-epidural...apparently the hospital I'm at, has a 98% epidural rate...
Anyway...she asked if anyone was going to have a c-section. I said 'possibly' and was the only one out of about 20 women in the class who answered...she then went onto to talk about the c-section rate at the hospital (about 50%, I think!). Everyone was taken back...and one girl asked "why is it so high?", and the midwife's first answer was "well...basically we went through a stage where mums were too posh to push!"...she never fully clarified that elective c-sections are not just for "social" reasons (her words!)...and basically rushed over the fact that many c-sections are medically recommended...
I felt so deflated...in a room full of 40 people, I felt I was being judged...
The midwife went on to explain the c-section procedure...and basically couldn't have been more flippant if she tried...I was doing everything to try not to burst into tears...
She was describing the hats you need to wear, adding "I just think they make you wear them so you look silly"...and so on...I won't go into all the details but I just felt so humiliated...people were laughing at the jokes she was making about the stockings you need to wear, the 'boiler suits' that DH wears and the fact they strap you onto the table..."it's not really because they want you to stop running away...it's more that the table is on a slant", she said...
When I asked about the recovery, I felt dismissed as if it was a stupid question...
After she finished her blurb on c-sections, she looked at me and said "you still wanna have one?"
I said "it's not me who wants one...it's my doctor!"...and she just ignored it...
I asked about birth plans and basically she patronisingly said "if it makes you feel better...then have one"...what????
Basically, by the end of the night, I felt so alone. My DH was wonderful...but I just felt so unsupported...
I'm really scared about a c-section and feel like I haven't had a choice in it...I understand that I probably need to have one for my baby's and my health...and I thought that midwives would understand that...
In the end she said something like "if you don't have the birth that you're happy with, it's probably because you made the wrong choices"...
WHAT????
Everyone else was laughing and having fun...and I just felt ashamed...
Sorry this has been so long...thanks for taking the time to read it...
Last edited by monnie; June 13th, 2007 at 12:22 PM.
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