Giving birth via c section?

[~~Snoogans~~]

I know it goes against the grain but if I really thought about it, the method of giving birth really doesn't matter to me. I don't have a deep-seated need to deliver babies vaginally but I think when I joined BB I kind of got caught up in the idea that a vaginal, drug-free birth is the pinnacle of excellence.

My first VB left me with physical pain that I still have nearly five years later (I had severe SPD which was greatly exacerbated by the pushing position I was in for nearly three hours). It meant that I couldn't be the mum I wanted to be to DD - I couldn't get down on the floor to play with her, could barely leave the house for the first six months because walking was so painful etc. etc. etc.

After that, I couldn't care less really about VB versus caesarean - I just wanted a birth that would leave me with the least amount of physical damage. Once again, when I was pregnant with DD2, I got a little caught up in the idea that a caesarean was a 'cop-out'. Indeed, some of the members on here who'd also had SPD, had the arrogance to presume that their SPD must be the same as my SPD and because they had a VB and recovered well, it meant that I should too and anything less meant that I was a bit of a loser.

Luckily, I ignored them and their near-fanaticism and had an elective caesarean with DD2.

I felt better (physically and emotionally) after my caesarean than after my VB. After my caesarean, I felt that I could be the mum I wanted to be.

And, to me, that's all that matters.

Celebrate the way you mother your baby, not how you birthed her. Birth is one tiny part of being a mum. Lovely if it's everything you imagined but really, in the whole scheme of things, not that important (to me).

AMEN!

[Lenny]

Do you class your c-section as giving birth? (seeing as that was your original question)

Clearly you do. So then, you gave birth to Amelia.

Pretty simple.

However, if someone came to me and said "i had a horrible c-sect experience, and i really don't feel like a gave birth and i find it hard to say I gave birth" then i could easily sympathise with that mother and let her know she's not alone feeling like that sometimes and that there are proper professionals out there that can help her feel differently or come to peace with her birth experience.

How you feel is what matters. And if you feel great, then someone elses comment doesn't affect you. If you feel terrible and you are hurting then it's legitimate too.

[LysnDan]

I used to feel terrible about it. There was a lot of guilt birthing Amelia so early. But she's home and doing well and only now after talking with a councillor do I feel great about her birth iykwim?

So I'm celebrating that. It's a good thread. A good feeling. I'm finally accepting the way things happened. And if people can't be happy for me (clearly there are some people out there who can't, and that's ok) I don't care.

Sent from my HTC Desire S using Tapatalk

[Tegam]

Celebrate the way you mother your baby, not how you birthed her. Birth is one tiny part of being a mum. Lovely if it's everything you imagined but really, in the whole scheme of things, not that important (to me).

I love what you have written but I do feel that sometimes this can really disable someone's ability to process there loss. Only when someone has moved passed that point in their grief can they move forward in their healing.

Do I make any sense?

[Tegam]

This applies to the thread title as well as posts.

Please, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. No one deserves to be made to feel upset by any conversation here!
Cheers.

Sent from my HTC Desire S using Tapatalk

Hugs Hun!

[onthefly]

I totally agree with Lenny - it's your birth (or non-birth, as the case may be) and only you can define it in this subjective way because only you experienced it.

[Kmn]

In answer to your original question, I think that the Dr got DS out of my tummy - I gave him life and a hell of a lot of other things, but I don't think I gave birth to him. Nor do I think that that is a problem or an easy way out - just the way it was.
But if you feel you have given birth to Amelia I wouldn't be arguing with you - what you perceive as "giving birth" is a personal thing. And you have certainly given Amelia an enormous amount before and since as well!