I already feel like I am being judged.

[Ahurani]

My last birth was a real emergency c section. You know running on a trolley through the corridor, getting stripped in theatre etc.

This time we are doing things completely different. Private ob, private hospital it's where I feel safe, with my ob. But as soon as I say We are choosing to have an elective c-section at 37 weeks. I get the no vbac? Why would you want to do that? And I am sick of it and I'm only 6 weeks.

We all have our reasons. My df and I feel this is the best way for us. For us to walk out of hospital with a baby. He never got to see his first child being born. Neither did I. I don't feel as though I need to explain myself everytime someone asks how I'm going to give birth. I've done my research, asked ob questions. This is the best for us and our baby.

If you don't like it then tough. It's our decision

[Charlotte91]

I think you are making a wise decision. I'll support you all the way.

It's the decision you are most comfortable with, and to be honest, I would do the same thing if I'd been through what you have.

Congratulations again on your pregnancy!

[feeb]

Hugs hun you know my opinion. You have made a very brave, couragus and sensible choice.

You went through so much heartbreak of not only loosing your precious baby girl, but you were rushed to theatre put to sleep and your poor DF left outside with no idea what was going on, the joys of birth was taken away from you due to a massive emeregency and NO ONE has the right to say anything to you or judge you.

Of course you want the safest most planned option out, you are going to be highly emotional as it is you want a supportive team around you to guide you every step of the way, and knowing when and how your baby will be born is the way to do this.

Hugs hun always here for you xoxo

[Liviam]

Hun you have hit the nail on the head - you and your DF have picked the decison that is best for you both and your baby!! Good on you hun!! Tell everyone to bite your a$$ and mind their own business.

[PumpkinZulu]

Don't let other people let you feel this way. Yes, you will be judged, birth is one of those things that people get very hot under the collar about. But you're right - it's your decision! You've made a decision that you are happy with, comfortable with, and that you feel secure in. Isn't that better than going into a VBAC terrified? I think it is. Being informed and confident in ones choices, to me, will have a lot more of a positive impact on a woman than whether their baby comes out of the sunroof or not. I'm sure you'll come up against some negativity with your decision, but hey, we all do, from elective c-sections to homebirthing. The important thing is how you feel about it...and then all that negativity will become water off a ducks back

ETA, I'm sure Teni won't mind me saying this (I hope!). She chose to be induced at 38 weeks. Do I think she made the right call for her and her bub at the time? I totally do. The mental anguish she was putting herself through waiting to go into labour...I can't even imagine. It certainly isn't healthy, all that stress and fear. She had a hard labour but she pulled through it magnificently. Although I know for a fact that she would do things differently next time, I'm always one to stress to her that she made a call that was right for her and her family. I am her biggest fan for that. I know many women who have/will make this call. I can't exactly stand here and be so passionate about HB, for example, if I can't also be passionate about the fact that women *have the right to choose*, whatever side of the fence they are finding themselves on. You sound confident and I k ow you are informed in your decision, you've weighed up all the risks etc and this is where you're at. And to me it sounds like you're in a good space to birth this baby in a manner in which you feel safe

[Traveller]

No one can judge you hun unless they have walked in your shoes. For what it's worth I think I would probably strongly consider the same thing in your circumstances

[Glass half full]

I'm sorry you are feeling this way, especially so early in your pregnancy

You know you are making the right decision for you and your baby and thats all that matters. Unfortunately no matter what decisions you make regarding you pregnancy and birth, there will always be people who disagree and feel the need to tell you about it. If only people could keep their opinions to themselves!

All the best for your pregnancy and good luck with not letting other peoples issues get you down

[forshelby]

Darling, you've made the right choice for you. As comfortable as you are with your decision, sadly others will want to disagree or judge you. I know you probably want to ignore their opinions, but it's easier said than done.

I hope we can all help override some of the negativity you're copping with our support and positivity. You're so strong, so courageous, but I wish you didn't have to be.

We're all behind you, hun.

[peanutter]

I don't feel as though I need to explain myself everytime someone asks how I'm going to give birth. I've done my research, asked ob questions. This is the best for us and our baby.

If you don't like it then tough. It's our decision

This is exactly right.

This is your body, your man, your baby, and you are making the best decisions for your family.

I'm in the same situation, for different reasons. I have to have a c-section this time too, probably at 38 weeks.

It will be called elective. That's not how I see it.

I might have people judging me. They can get stuffed.

I find it upsetting. I hope that I will soon be as calm and straightforward as you seem to be about it.

I admire you, and hope that you will be plesantly surprised by how few people speak out of turn about your birthing choice.

[Sammiejane]

You know that I am a VBAC Mummy, but if I were in your shoes, I'm pretty sure I would be making exactly the same decision as you.
It's not like you are making an uninformed decision either

I am sorry that you are feeling judged already... No judgement here, just totally over the moon for you

YOU do what's right for YOU


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[blessedatlast]

Your choice and that's that.. I'm sure you will get more support than judgement on here

[Heaven]

OMG! We can't win can we? Whatever we choose people are going to judge.

I had a VBAC but reading your story, I totally get where you are coming from and I think I would make exactly the same decision. It is what is right for your family.

[Amaunet]

I can't believe anyone knowing your situation would DARE judge your decision! Add that to the fact that how you choose to give birth is no one else's business, tell them to butt out!

[black_rose]

Can't believe that you are being judged already. The one thing i said to my ob was I wanted a vbac but if there was any doubt or my child was in danger I would have a c sect in a heartbeat, i hope you don't have to listen to this all of your pregnancy.

[Arimeh]

I can't believe you are being judged either - do they know the full story of your last birth???

FWIW (and I know my opinion means nothing..lol) if I were in your position, I would be 110% sure that I would be having a repeat c-section. Without a doubt.

And I'm sure everyone knows how passionate I am about VBAC's - however, I'm just as passionate about people's ability to make their own choices for their own birth

[LionsandBears]

Have the people judging you been in your shoes? Did they have an emergebcy cs under GA? Have they held their dead baby in their arms? Did they go home with empty arms? Do they want to try that on, even for just one day? I bet they havent and I bet they dont.

I cant believe you're dealing with this already. I have no idea what we'll do, if we ever get that far again but there's no way in hell I'm going to 40 weeks. I will do what's best for me, the baby and my DH. Mental health is a huge part of handling subsequent pregnancies and births. If a scheduled cs means who dont lose your mind and you take home a living child, then that's a wonderful, empowered birth for you.

People are entitled to an opinion. In this case, they should exercise the option of keeping their ill-informed opinions to themselves.

[Nai]

That is really sucky that anyone could judge you especially if they any knowledge at all about what you have been through. You are doing what is best for you and your family. I wouldn't be telling people how you are choosing to birth at all. It really is none of their business.

[blessedatlast]

Have the people judging you been in your shoes? Did they have an emergebcy cs under GA? Have they held their dead baby in their arms? Did they go home with empty arms? Do they want to try that on, even for just one day? I bet they havent and I bet they dont.

I cant believe you're dealing with this already. I have no idea what we'll do, if we ever get that far again but there's no way in hell I'm going to 40 weeks. I will do what's best for me, the baby and my DH. Mental health is a huge part of handling subsequent pregnancies and births. If a scheduled cs means who dont lose your mind and you take home a living child, then that's a wonderful, empowered birth for you.

People are entitled to an opinion. In this case, they should exercise the option of keeping their ill-informed opinions to themselves.

Well said!!! Subsequent pregnancy is so hard on your mental health. Sure I'm grateful to be pregnant again, but it's really tough sometimes. Then of course there's guilt. Guilt about everything, you didn't do enough, you did too much. You have that anyway without people telling you that your decisions aren't right. They don't know what is right for you and your baby.. Even sometimes we don't know, but we do the best we can at the time, just like every other mother..