I just agreed to have a section... but I dont want it...

[Jas]

Rufalina,

I agree, I don't think it sounds like you are ready to have a c/section on friday. If you are unsure I would wait to think longer about it. If the baby is breech this is something that could change, have they tried manually turning the baby? have u tried some of the natural ways to turn your baby?

Can I ask why you would need an emergency c/s on the 4th? Is there any reason you can't just wait it out with monitoring etc

[Kitt3n]

Oh beautiful

Hun you really don't sound ready. I know this is so very hard for you - but if all is travelling OK do you think you will be OK to wait till Jan?

What is YOUR gut feeling as to how that will impact you ?

[~Trish~]

Hi Rufalina, I hope you don't mind me posting in your thread . I think everyone has given you some great advice. You don't sound like you are ready to make that decision so soon, you really need to feel peace about your decision. Would you consider waiting until the 4th and seeing what happens?

I know, from what I've read from you, that you have really been wanting to try for a VBAC. It sounds like your Obs negative outlook:

but he feels that on that date he will be having me in for an emergency section

has put a seed of doubt into your mind? I'm sure he was being lovely and caring about you, but when you feel someone important doesn't have faith in you, it's easy to believe them . He could very well be right, or he could very well be wrong! Do you think it's worth giving it a shot, aiming for your much wanted VBAC believing in yourself and your bub rather than your Ob? Could you try natural ways to move your bub? Have you read techniques on the spinning babies website?

Sorry, I hope I don't sound like I'm pushing you! I just wanted to put some thoughts out there for you to help with your decision making. I think we all want you to be at peace with whichever way you choose to birth your baby and only you can decide .

If you choose to go for your VBAC we will all be your cheering squad, if you choose to go for a c/s we will still be here to cheer you on!

Best of luck deciding

[feeb]

If you don't feel ready for cs don't have it!!!!!

What is Dr's reasoning for not wanting to wait and see till at least EDD???

You need to be comfortable with what ever you decide and if baby and you are both safe and healthy there is no rush to jump in and do a cs if that is not what you want.

good luck

[Fleur]

Oh hun
As everyone else has said, it really doesn't sound as though you are ready for a CS on Friday.

Is there any reason your OB wants to do the CS now, instead of waiting? The 4th Jan is still over 2 weeks away.
A lot can change in two weeks... hell, a lot can change in two days as I very well know...

You can have an emergency CS & still have an empowered CS, IYKWIM? How do you think you would be if you treid for a VBAC & it ended in a CS? Would it be enough to know you gave it a shot?

I will never have the experience of a contraction, or that wet slippery newborn on my chest, or that wow I did it feeling. Can I live with this????

my heart broke for you when I read this... whichever choice you make, I hope you find peace with it

[fourthontheway]

You don't want the surgery? Cancel it. You're in charge of your body

I would be seeking a second opinion from a care provider who did not specialise in surgery - a midwife. See what a midwife says about your chances before you go ahead and make the decision - one that you are clearly unhappy about.

If you decide to have a vbac your doctor must enable that, not pressure you into surgery. Vbac is far safer for you and your baby than repeat surgery, and study after study prove that.

Lots of love to you. The last thing you need at this late stage of pregnancy is pressure! Make your decision, and stick to your guns. Good luck!

(ps. I had a vba2 - it was amazing, I'm not planning another birth at home and I can't wait!!!)

[rufalina]

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply. I have been reading them through the afternoon and taking all of your thoughts in. Means a lot . I also did a good amount of cathartic cleaning and washing and crying, so am feeling a little more stable. Still not decisive, but more settled.

Last time I had an elective section on my edd. It was done as my body does not handle physical stress well, which is why we are talking going early again. My edd is 24/12, and that is not possible to have the section electively on that day at the hospital.

My OB is 100% behind my VBAC, and infact he said if I am not 100% with the decision to have the section on Friday I should wait till the 4th. But, on the 4th I would have to be admitted as an emergency and wait for a surgery slot and a bed, and it would be with his locum. Trish, you are right, he did make it sound hard and painful and inconvenient, but more for me than him.

I think, the thing I have come to over the course of the afternoon, is that part of this is about me, and part of this is about everyone else. As far as the family goes, I know logically, that having the section on Friday will be the best thing. I have DH with me on holidays for 3 weeks, and then my mum for the next 2. So I will not be alone to deal with my recovery, and to entertain DS1. I also know I healed well last time, and that, really when I look back on it, I had a really great section experience. It was positive, and I know I can have that again.

My part is that I am the the one having the concerns about the never "birthing" my babies, but that is a personal thing that I am going to have to come to terms with. But this is the thing holding me back. I am pretty sure I can find a way to live with it, but ugh, there is still the what if... But again, I look at DS1 and he is perfect, even with the elective section, and I wonder why I am holding back...

Bub is ROA, and very high, and has been for months. He hasn't moved at all. I have done all I can think of (thanks to spinning babies), to help him come forward and down, swimming, on all fours, pelvic rocking, sitting positions etc, but still nothing. My OB says cause I didn't labour at all last time, this is kind of like first time again, which is why he thinks I am not really going to go anywhere.

Going to have a good chat to DH tonight, and try and get him to stop being "supportive" by doing what I want, and to really talk it through with me.

Will keep you all posted, and thank you again for your understanding.