I just agreed to have a section... but I dont want it...

[rufalina]

And I am not sure if I am ready to make that choice.

I just wanted to have a go at a vbac.

But things are not looking favourable. This bub has been in the same position for months, and there is no action at all. My Dr is 100% happy for me to go till 4th jan, but he feels that on that date he will be having me in for an emergency section, and my logical mind tells me that having an earlier scheduled section is the better way forward.

I know what I am up for and I have help and support with me for the next month, but why is my heart breaking. Why does this feel like I am just giving into all the pressure, and will I be able to live with it.

First time round I was 100% fine with the elective section. But the second I fell pg this time, I thought to myself that I would VBAC. But here I am booking an elective section, and I feel like I am failing before I start.

I will never have the experience of a contraction, or that wet slippery newborn on my chest, or that wow I did it feeling. Can I live with this????

My Dr said I can pull out of the section at any time, so I can sleep on this and make a decision tomorrow... or friday... I am just so torn...

What do I do? How do I reconcile this decision with myself? What should I do? So confused and torn....

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Arimeh]

Aww babe, I don't really have any advice for you... but I'm here if you want to vent over the phone? I don't mind PMing you my phone number if you need to chat about it.

I had to make the decision for Miss M as well - elective c-section or gentle induction which probably would have led to an emergency section anyway. So I've been where you are

[Jakabella]

Hugs babe - no advice exept follow your heart. I hope it all works out the way that you would like!

Kate xox

[Spring Angel]

Sweetie, it is a decision only you can make however reading between the lines it seems to me that you are not ready for a c-section on Friday. There is no harm in delaying it until you either decide to wait for spontaneous labour, or feel more at ease with the decision to have a c-section. Don't forget 4 Jan is still a while away.

Good luck with whatever decision you make.

Spring xx

[~mamaspice~]

Rufalina, it's a hard decision. If you and bub are plodding along healthily, what if you scheduled a C Section for 4th January? That way you'd be giving your body more time to go into spontaneous labour and you've still got the safety net of the booked section there if you ended up needing it. Just a thought.

[Emma1979]

hi there
what is the reason for the schedule c-section, is baby breech??

if it were me i think i'd wait for spontaneous labour to at least have the surprise component, and to feel what contractions and labour are like, then perhaps have the c-section if VBAC isn't an option...

i think anyone that is having doubts about an elective c-section speaks volumes and should seriously consider a VBAC, but i don't know your situation.... good luck, i'm due a few days after you and attempting a VBAC.

[Jas]

Rufalina,

I agree, I don't think it sounds like you are ready to have a c/section on friday. If you are unsure I would wait to think longer about it. If the baby is breech this is something that could change, have they tried manually turning the baby? have u tried some of the natural ways to turn your baby?

Can I ask why you would need an emergency c/s on the 4th? Is there any reason you can't just wait it out with monitoring etc

[Kitt3n]

Oh beautiful

Hun you really don't sound ready. I know this is so very hard for you - but if all is travelling OK do you think you will be OK to wait till Jan?

What is YOUR gut feeling as to how that will impact you ?

[~Kaz~]

Hun only you can know what you're able to live with and what you will probably regret. I agree with Sarah's post but of course, it is really your body and your choice. I wonder why your logical mind says go with this Friday? Your heart sounds like you want to leave it until the 4th Jan and give yourself every chance to VBAC. (Just my reading of your post).

I agreed to an induction on a Friday afternoon (scheduled for the Monday). I thought about it over the weekend and felt a bit like you. I was pretty uncomfortable with rushing, I felt I was being rushed and I felt a bit pressured. I negotiated to put the induction off until the Friday and bought myself another 4 days. The next morning, I went into labour spontaneously. I still ended up with a cs, but I know I gave myself and DS every chance to do it vaginally and I laboured for a long time naturally which I will always be grateful for. I think if I'd been induced, given what eventuated, I would have been guaranteed the cs and I wouldn't have experienced labour like I did (at home, drug free etc).

Not sure if my experience will help you at all but I am really glad I had a couple of days to think things over. Take the next day or two to decide. You'll know what's right.

[{sarah}]

This is the way I would think about it, please don't think I am telling you what to do because it's your decision ultimately, but if it were me I would do this...

I would have a lovely Christmas with family & not be recovering from a c/s if I had the choice. I would wait until the 4th. I'd relax & try some natural induction methods - accupuncture, massage etc etc over the next two weeks. If I was sure I wanted a VBAC, I wouldn't take the earlier date when there has been a later date offered. It's another two weeks to allow bub to make their appearance. Who knows with a definitive end in sight bub might surprise you! I know once everything was organised for my "induction" (AROM) with miss J, I relaxed & my waters broke that night.

Again, totally up to you & you know everyone here will support you in whatever you choose, this is just the way that I would proceed if it were my pregnancy Good luck with your decision hun. It sucks that you have to make it, but I'm sure whichever way you go, it will be the perfect decision for you, the new bub & your family