I want an elective c section... and don't want to be bullied!

[sangie]

Puppies just wanted to wish you all the best. Well done on making the decision that is right for you and I'll look forward to hearing the birth announcement! Take care xxxx

[Arcadia]

Wow, I had no idea women who elected for a c-section were bullied by other women, (especially since cs are increasingly common).

I am at the other end of the scale (wanting a home birth) so I have some idea of the types of stuff 'concerned' people carry on with (such as "do you know anything about birth?" which one MAN said to me!)

As many other wise BBers have posted - you can only do what is right for you - and vital to that decision is both research and instinct (and you seem to be using both!)

I have also been following some of your posts, so my only advice would be to confront some of those fears you were having about a vaginal birth (I don't mean so you can have one), but rather, fears often help us see something we didn't know about ourselves...perhaps you need some re-assurance about the capabilities of your body, or some positive affirmations about what you can achieve.

I agree you shouldn't try for a vaginal birth to prove something, (or out of pride), but you deserve to feel good about your body and its amazing ability to perform miracles (hello, you're growing a baby!)

Go for your CS, and feel empowered in doing so, just don't ignore any underlying anxieties...they always seem to come back again....and again...and again!

[puppies]

Anna,
Fears, yes they are something that I need to face but I will not use the birth of my precious son as a way of facing them. I am just not willing to take the risk. Bringing him safely into this world peacefully and without distress is far more important to me than anything. I am not scared of pain, I am not scared of labour. I am scared of hurting him or causing him harm and that is the main reason for my decision. I am sure that as the years go by I will be forced to face my fears which are "My darling son getting hurt in anyway" but that will happen I am sure and I don't look forward to that at all.
If the only reason I would attempt to have a vaginal birth was to face my fears then I believe that I would be selfish. I would end up emotionally distraught if my instincts turned out right and we only ended up in theatre with a distressed baby. Knowing that if I had just followed my instincts and did the elective then non of this distress would have happened. Then I would feel guilt and disappointment in myself that I made the wrong decision. I guess it could also go the other way to but in my heart I don't feel that. After all your instincts as a mother kick in and if I start ignoring them now then what hope have I got for being a good mother.

[Arcadia]

Puppies, I agree a VB is not the place for you to face these fears. Indeed that's exactly what I was saying. I think a CS is the best option for you if thats what you want.

I was more concerned that you have anxiety at all. I know how debilitating it is. That's all I was getting at...

[puppies]

Yes, I have been to see a phycologist before (was referred by my GP) and I will probably go back to her again once bump is born to help me face my fears of loosing the ones I love or them getting hurt. I am even terrified that my puppy will get hurt, hence why I stupidly through myself between her and another doggy as they looked like they were going to have a disagreement. I ended up tears saying what kind of mother and I going to be when I put my own child in danger to protect my puppy. To which she probably could do a much better job of protecting herself than I could!

I don't yet know where my fears come from but I do need to address them and I will in time. Just want to make sure that bump arrives safely then I can start working on fighting that battle. After all we all have our battles that we must face.

[Arcadia]

Oh hun...big hugs to you.

You sound like you're doing all the right things to help yourself.

I wish you all the best for your baby and birth. Its your body, and your decision and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

[puppies]

Thanks Anna your well wishes are really appreciate and I would like to return the favour by wishing you and your family best of luck with your approaching home birth. Your going to awesome and I don't know about you but I am very much looking forward to the two of us soon becoming 3 of us!