My reasons for elective cesarean section;

[EllyBoo72]

Mods; I know there are s a few threads re; c/s but I’d really love for this thread to stay, as I’d like to hear from Mothers who elect c sections based on their reasons other than medical.

There are a lot of reasons why I chose a c/s… one being a traumatic early teenage experience, which I can’t go into detail.

Another significant reason why I chose to have a c section was due to suffering with chronic arrhythmia, for the last 10years, with no apparent “medical reason” for it. When my DH and I discussed starting a family, my condition was exacerbated by recurrent panic attacks. These attacks were bought on by the thought of naturally giving birth. My fears were; that during the birth process, my heart would totally freak out, and result in stroke or heart attack!

Although I was told that arrhythmia was not a concern during pregnancy and labour …I trusted my instincts that I simply couldn’t cope with the stresses of labour and childbirth, so I decided to opt for a c section instead. I strongly felt that I could physically and mentally cope better with it, and felt in my case it would be the safer option for baby and me.

This is a very real fear and concern for me, as well as the thoughts of what could go wrong naturally with attempting a vaginal birth. An example being my Mother who desperately wanted a VB, but ended up having ( 3 ) ceasars due to having a small pelvis, plus having my sisters umb cord was wrapped around her neck resulting in her having to be revived when she was eventually born.….Then when my sister was in labour with her baby for 30 hours, only to have her baby get stuck, and her pain relief not work, then to be set up for a cs anyway…. Then a dear friend who we came so close to losing, due to high blood pressure in the last stages of labour.


The thought of having a baby (that took so long to conceive) then having something happen to me thus DS being left without a mother, frightened the life out of me.
These thoughts and feelings came rushing back a few days after I had DS, which again turned into weeks of anxiety and panic attacks. I just couldn’t stop thinking of my DS being raised without his mother, and that I would miss out on every special moment of his growing up, that years before I had only dreamed of!
.
I know that there are risks with birth/pregnancy either way, and I have read a lot of information on the pros and cons, but I am extremely comfortable with the decisions that I have made, as I believe was the safest option for me and my baby.

I believe we all do things with the best intentions but sometimes it’s very hard for others to understand ones choices, or feelings, because they have not been there themselves,. …..

Geez….That took much longer to put into words, than I thought it would…..

Thanks for listening……

[BellyBelly]

Ally, thanks for sharing your story and thanks for understanding the posts that have happened, I know there have been lots of posts which may come across as upsetting for some people and I am definitely not wanting anyone to feel judged. I know some people have caesareans for reasons I can fully understand and wouldn't wish their situation apon anyone, it must be so hard... and sometimes not - but I guess I just wanted to say that I appreciate your understanding and you also have mine.

[EllyBoo72]

Thank you Kelly....It really means alot to me. I guess I wanted to tell my story mainly because I didnt want people to think that I chose CS lightly, or selfishly..... I really do appreciate the risks involved with CS...and would never deliberately put my baby in harms way before thoroughly weighing up my reasons.
I know that if my "life path" panned out differently, things wouldnt have been this complicated.
I really do appreciate the advice that is given on BB, as it is no doubt invaluable. The advice doesnt upset me, it just makes me ponder xxx

[DoulaRelle]

Ally - I am so glad you posted this thread hun!

As you well know - although I have not had a C/S myself I fully respect the fact that every woman has different views, and different needs in relation to their birth. I think all too often some of us judge to quickly/harshly when we do not agree with someone's choices. Most women who have very specific needs and requests do so after being well informed and well aware of any associated risks.

Although it was not a C/s I chose, I did chose to be induced with DS 2 as there was no way I could go through 72 hours of labour again only to end up with an epi that doesn't work, beginnings of PE all topped off by a forcep delivery. (there were other reasons too!) I was truly panicking about this and not enjoying my pregnancy as these feeling overode any positive feeling I had. I know that induction is not for everyone either, but for me personally it was by far the best option.

I hope that people post in the theme of the thread hun and do not use it as a session to criticise others, but just to give their reasons as to why they may have chosen a particular plan of action.

I do hope to be in the midwifery industry for the rest of my working life, and I like to think that I will be there to advocate a womans wants and needs to the best of my ability, regardless of whether it is my personal preference or not!

[christy]

I think thats the main point we are all fighting for, our right to choose our birth for our babies. I don't think many of us make our choices lightly. And I respect others who have a different way of choosing to birth. What I disagree with is when the choice is taken out of the women's hands by someone who may not "misinform" but maybe not inform enough?

[Debbie Lee]

Ally - wow... you certainly have some very, very compelling reasons for having a c/s! Thankyou for sharing.

I will be having an elective caesar with my next baby. A small part of me would like to try for a vbac but I fear any effort would be in vain.

There's a couple of reasons why I will be opting for an caesar. Firstly, Gabby's birth was one buggered up experience. I was induced WAY too early for fear of what "may" happen (because my BP was high and the Dr. wanted to avoid the risk of pre-eclampsia even tho I showed no other symptoms), taking away my chance to go into labour on my own. 5 days later, my waters were broken for me (meconium all through them... hardly a surprise Gab was stressed out!) and I got to experience a whole 4 hours of labour (which felt exactly the same as the pain from the gel that I had been experiencing but people kept telling me it wasn't "real" labour), had an epidural, put on the drip, Gab's heart rate dropped (cord around her neck) so ended up having a caesar. It was all just one giant mess.
I didn't ask questions. I didn't have a real "birth plan". I just wanted to be a good patient and come out with a baby that was alive.
Which leads to my other reason for wanting a caesar - and probably the most important reason.
My great grandmother, my grandmother and my mother have all experienced a still birth at full term. 3 generations of women have been through the horrific experience of having their baby die whilst in labour (not before). My mother has been very open and honest when she talks about her experience of losing my older brother (he first born and her only son). I am terrified of the same thing happening to me.
I have been told that medicine has come a long way, and I'm sure my mother would have been told that too (and possibly my grandmother). It's just too much of a risk, imo. The fact that the cord was wrapped around Gabby's neck just indicates to me that perhaps a natural birth is not within my reach. To be honest, when it comes down to having my baby be born alive and well and experiencing a natural/vaginal birth, the healthy bub wins hands down.

Of course, I am not pregnant with #2 yet and have not spoken to a Dr. about my options. I did make them very aware of my family history when I was pregnant with Gabby - it was noted in my records and I did feel like I was heard. I was disappointed that I ended up having a caesar with Gabby but with all I had been through and all I was afraid of, I didn't really even hesitate when I was told that it was happening. At the time I was kind of... relieved?

I believe we all do things with the best intentions but sometimes it’s very hard for others to understand ones choices, or feelings, because they have not been there themselves

I totally agree with you there. And... for what it's worth, I haven't come across one person that has made me feel bad for having a caesar or wanting one next time. Everyone on BB has been supportive and, though I do feel a little twinge of "if only" when people talk about natural birth, I don't feel as though they are talking about it to make me feel bad. I agree that women need to be supported and helped to learn to trust in their bodies and what they can do - so long as it's within their abilities both physically AND mentally.

[BellyBelly]

I think those who do have a natural birth feel so accomplished in it because it is so bloody hard to get a natural birth, let alone be supported by your carers for it, if you know what I mean? Maybe some people think badly about others for what they do for some reason, but I do know that those wanting a natural birth often have to fight hard for it. It's choice to have a caesar, but so many women who don't want intervention have to fight for it. It's very draining and disempowering. Hopefully one day we'll all be able to respect each others decisions - but the day where we have equal choice both ways seems so far away.

[Visitor9]

Thanks Ally for starting this thread, I had a caesar for a few reasons but bottom line it was a personal decision made by myself that I knew I would of struggled thru a labour long or short.
I get no pain during labour no contraction pain, this may sound wonderful but when you don't know what is happening to your body. I had to travel 100kms to the hospital and truthfully the only knowledge would be a head appearing in my legs.
I had very traumatic deliveries not painful but emotionally with the first 2 girls. One I delivered a stillborn buzzing a nurse who showed up 30-45 minutes later as a change of shift. After they realised that I was alone with the baby it was very traumatic trying to tug placentas out and so uncaring. I was never told by the obst that I would prob deliver the baby. So it was a shock when she did come out.
My second birth all tho I was never left alone due to the first. For the first week I was attached to a IV and my head was on the floor and my feet to the ceiling ( pretty picture). I did have time to process this as I was in having an ultrasound and the baby was in the S position in the birth canal with me 9 cm dilated. My obst tugged with my foot on his shoulder and him in the "tug of war" position until I heard sllllluuuchhhhh. That is pretty much the sound of a cord snapping inside you sounds like. He then tried to manually remove it and after 20 min took me to theatre.
I was scared....not scared of pain. The fear of losing another baby, the fear of everything going wrong, the fear of unknown.
I suppose having a c-sect has all these aliments as well, I had transfusions as my placental post was cut during the first incision. Eliza was a GD baby and ended up ngt for 2 weeks she was also delivered at 37 weeks. So ideally she didn't have the best start to life.
But I will do it again. Maybe if I could deliever closer to home maybe if GD doesn't become such an issue, maybe with alot of counselling I might be able, but who is not to say I will freak when the time comes.
Good luck Ally I hope your childs birth is a wonderful experience
Bec

[Roryrory]

EllyBoo I do hope all goes well for you I was lucky enough to have a trouble-free natural birth (well, natural enough for me - oxytocin during pushing and episiotomy) but I can soooo understand your decision. A lot of my friends who had c/s had traumatic times because they didn't expect it, but you will be in the good position of having made the decison in advance. Only thing I would suggest is that you find out as much about what is going to happen beforehand so that you can be as informed and in control as possible during the birth. Think about things like whether you would like DH to stay with you during stitching or go with bub, and make sure you have plenty of help at home afterwards. You can make this decision work well for you and your family And according to my mum (who had me by emergency c/s) you can DTD pretty soon afterwards (YUK, like I needed to know that mum!!)

[EllyBoo72]

Thank you for your replies

Relle, Thank you for your kind words! You are always very supportive with a caring approach....you are such a lovely person.

Debbie Lee; Thank you for sharing your story. Gab's birth sounds like a very traumatic experience for you. Pre eclampsia is such a scary thing. This is what my friend suffered during her labour....Long story, but she was put into an induced coma for a week, and we nearly lost her (as I mentioned before). My bosses wife also had it, and she went blind for a couple of weeks after the birth. I just cant imagine what these ladies went thru.
The thought of bubs dying during labour, as with your family members had suffered, I just couldnt think of anything more devastating.
With the info that i have read, it seems that a repeat c section is safer for baby than attempting a VBAC, so no doubt I will go down that same road...And I totally understand your feelings. I wouldnt like to attempt a VBAC, then have to have a c section in the end anyway.
I am so glad for you that it all worked out well for you and Gab in the end and I sincerely hope that when the time comes, your next birth experience will be much more pleasant, and that you and baby are safe and well no matter which way you chose to go. Sometimes I think gut feeling is your best intuition. Thanks again Deb xxx

Bec G; I am so sorry to hear of your experiences. I just cant imagine how shocking this would have been for you....:hugs: and to endure more again.... It is just so unfair. I totally understand your feelings of fear. I really do hope your next experience is a pleasant one. I think you are an amazing person Bec, for what you have been thru, and how you keep so positive....You are an inspiration to many others...Thank you for sharing your story, hugs to you xxx

[Debbie Lee]

Thanks Ally.
And... I can tell you cos I've met Bec IRL, you are SO right. She's an amazing, brave and inspirational person. She's been through too much for one person to edure yet she still has a killer sense of humour and a love of life. You're great, Bec Eliza is lucky to have such a fantastic Mumma!

Kelly:

so many women who don't want intervention have to fight for it.

I should have added something along those line to my last post (to add to the 'learning to trust our bodies' point). Totally have to agree there. If I had tried to fight against all the intervention I had, I imagine it would have been quite a struggle! So... yep... just letting everyone know that I understand why it's such a huge accomplishment to have a natural birth and it should be celebrated (and not taken the wrong way by those who had to have intervention for whatever reason ).

[Visitor9]

Ahh Thanks girls.... I just get ****ty sometimes cause people presume we take the "easy" way out. I'd love to of taken the hard way then
Lets be proud that we have beautiful children
Bec

[aussienic]

subbing

[Kirsty77]

I had an emergency c/s with Gemma after a very long 23 hour induced labour. I was left feeling pretty flat afterwards as my ideal plan for labour had been nothing like what happened.

This time round first up I thought I'd try for a VBAC, but changed my mind as I had severe gallbladder attacks from 28wks onwards. Not really a reason for some but for me it brought back memories of labour and how stressed and fragile I was. By the time pregnancy was nearly over I had made up my mind to have a c/s again. The gallbladder attacks had stopped so this decision was purely because I 'wanted it' I did cope alot of flak from people who asked. I stopped caring what people think now. I also decided to f/f both my girls. My decision again and yep I have coped alot of flak again for it.

I say as long as you are happy with your decision then thats all that matters. Buggar what anyone else thinks.

[aussienic]

I had a c/s with my 2nd son after my waters broke at 37 weeks ( half an hour before antenatal appointment to discuss birth options :/) anyways. After I noticed they were stained with meconium both DH and I knew what was best.. After Isaac was born he was quite sick, not straight away about 12 hours later he started having seizures and breathing episodes or I should say non breathing episodes.. So when it came time to have our 3rd there was discussion we both knew what we wanted and that was to have a healthy baby with little to no stress on its body.. Even to this day I wonder what if I had decided to labour with Isaac. I don't think he would have made it. Also this is the reason for having another c/s when we do get pg again

[EllyBoo72]

Kirsty; Good on you for going with what you want...and need...I agree bugger what anyone else thinks, and I am more so in that frame of mind than ever before ....Pple think CS is the easy way out but it isnt....And there is no way I am attempting a VBAC either....IKWYM about the F/F...Again, its a choice, and we have reasons for doing so. I FF DS, and most likely will be doing it again next time round......And stuff what anyone else thinks!! Thanks for sharing your story xxx


Aussienic; Scary story....Sorry to hear, it must have been a horrible ordeal for you all. I will look foreward to seeing your preg announcement one day! Goodluck with your future births! Thanks for sharing your story xxx

[bon]

Wow Brooke can't believe you have a date for your c/s already! Sorry just wanted to butt in and say that. At my hospital if I was having a c/s they would leave me hanging until the last 2 weeks!

[dinky]

Ally

Thank you for starting this thread.

I am lucky that only my IL have reacted to the elective c/s thing but in real terms with #1 I didnt have a choice, it ended up being an emergency c/s under GA. #2 I decided that I would try VBAC but my OB declared that bubs was going to be too big so just under 37w, I had another c/s with spinal, it was amazing. Bubs was only 7lbs 5 ozs. I changed OBs for bubs #3, and decided from the very start that I would go with what I knew. My OB never questioned my reasons, but as I had a sick father, 2 other daughters to care for, I thought a pre-planned date would be best for me and my family.

It didnt work out that way though! My waters broke at 34w, and I ended up having a c/s very early, bubs was small and transferred to a NICU at another hospital so I saw her for 2 minutes in her first 3 days of life. I didnt hold her until she was over 3 days old and it was very scary for all of us. Thankfully Hayley is fine now and I never regretted the c/s. I know that if I should ever have another child a c/s is the choice from the start.

I dont let anyone tell me that I have made the wrong decision, MIL has tried but I know I did what was right for me and my family.