Congrats on your pregnancy Ellie, nice to hear from someone who i can relate to. I think experiencing the trials of the ivf process can make us more anxious about everything and more worriesome. Thankfully i have not had to deal with an ectopic though, you are a strong lady!
I would like the same as you, an obstetrician who will be open to my choice should i decide to go that way. Its good that you have the support of your gp and obstetrician. Hopefully mine will be the same when i see them in a few weeks time.
I too am a long term IVFer. I took 4 years and 8 cycles to fall pregnant. And I actually feel the reverse - I'm scared of having a c/s.
I had the advantage though of having birthed 3 kids previously vaginally, albeit over a decade previously. So I guess I knew my body could do it. But I agree that after many years of IVF, it seems natural to leave your birth in your Drs' hands too, just to be on the safe side.
I just don't think it's necessarily 'the safe side' though - the statistics don't support that view. Statistically, women and their babies are safer at birth, and in the days after birth, with a vaginal delivery. I have to admit to being very anxious too, which is why I was desperate to have a VB.
I don't mean to discourage you from a c/s if that's what you want, it's your choice and I respect that. It's just we've become so attuned to not trusting our bodies through it failing us with conceiving, that we feel that we don't have it in us to safely deliver our babies either. But it's not necessarily true.
However, if you decide on a c/s because it makes you more confident about your birth, though, then I wish you well.
Last edited by sushee; October 19th, 2008 at 04:06 PM.
Hi my first pregnancy was c-section due to pre- eclampsia and other problems but i loved the fact that it was calm - not a emergency c-section (was scheduled for a date).
My second child i was given the option of VBAC but i declined and opted for C-section purely because i knew what the experience would be like and also that i knew my baby would be safe. I don't see the point of being in labor for many hours and then having to be rushed into theater for a C-section or trying to pull a baby out with forceps and vacuum delivery. I am in a family with a high amount of family members having had C-sections and mostly it was pelvic related problems.
It should be every mom's choice what will work for them - in the one hand if i could have had normal birth the first time i would have opted for it but i'm glad things turned out to be fine and i really enjoyed my c-section experience. I know recovery is a bit longer but by day 2/3 i'm normally up and on the go - nothing a few pain tablets can't cure.
Wish all you ladies the best and go with what you feel is the best option for you and baby.
Nyrad - i haven't been through this, but keep in mind - pychological needs ARE medical needs. having been through the IVF rollercoaster, i can understand the mindset you're in at the moment. i have to and fro'd many times. ultimately, i want to try for a vaginal birth but i'm not opposed to a c/s if there is a need - and that need might be simply a psychogical need as this pregnancy progresses. i'm prone to anxiety and panic attacks, so if it is going to make it safer for myself and our little Gremlin, than i'll have a c/s.
i guess at this point, i really want to have some part of this that i have "control" over kwim??
make the decision based on what you feel is right. you'll have the people saying vaginal delivery is the only way. it IS the way nature intended - but it's not the ONLY way - the ONLY way for you is the way that is most comfortable you to bring your baby into the world
Nyrad & Ellie, congratulations!
I can totally understand if that is what you choose.... after such a long and stressful period of TTC, with all the uncertainty that goes with it, I think for some people planning a CS makes them feel calmer and more confident, and takes away some of the uncertainty and unpredictability around birth. If it is what makes you feel safer, more calm and comfortable, then make your choice and don't worry what anyone else thinks.
Nyrad, I think you can discount family experiences....I don't think there are ever been a link established. And honestly I would be worried before I had my bubs as my mum was in labour 32 and 28 hours respectively with my sister and I - All my labours have been between 3 - 5 hours and my sisters first came in 7. Both no drugs or stitches.
You have time to research and read up about everything - the facts, stats and the choices available to you. Make good use of BB, there is a plethora of information on here.
For me, I'm aiming for a vaginal birth unless my doctors suggest otherwise (and I have a pro VB OB, so I know if she's suggesting it, it's warranted). Part of it comes from the fact that I'm more scared of surgery than I am of labour (I've experienced minor knee surgery and have no desire to go through major abdominal surgery), and a desire to give my body a chance to prove that there IS something that it can do right.
However, if pushing for a VB means putting myself or the Munchkin at risk - hell no. But I think that like Nic I'd be opting for the general as the fear of needles going into my spine is even greater than the fear of surgery.
I also suffer from anxiety problems (fortunately for me it has subsided significantly in pregnancy), and want to add that everyone responds to their anxiety differently and deals with it differently. The right choice for one person isn't necessarily going to be the right choice for someone else.
My experience... My DD was born via emergency c/s after being in labour for quite a while, pushing for 2 hours and her being stuck.
It took us about 6 years to conceive #2, and on our first round of IVF luckily enough.
My OB said I would have a c/s again. when we arrived at the hospital for my scheduled c/s, my OB checked me over as I was in pain, and found me to be already 8cms dilated. I still went for a c/s, but I was absolutely terrified of having a spinal, and after chatting with our anaethetist, I ended up having a GA. Part of me wishes I had been awake, but emotionally, I just don't think I would have been able to cope.
As for family ties dertermining your experience, I'm not so sure about that one.
My mum, had a 4 hour labour with me, and a 2 hour labour with my brother. they told her any more kids and she would have to park her backside at the hospital steps a couple of weeks before hand lol. So in my case, my mums experience did definately did not rub off on me in any way.
Goodluck with your decision, and the birth of your long awaited bubba
I think experiencing the trials of the ivf process can make us more anxious about everything and more worriesome. Thankfully i have not had to deal with an ectopic though, you are a strong lady!
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