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In praise of the C-Section
I've been tossing over my thoughts over our recent Caesar. I found this article whilst searching for another. Putting it here so I don't get into strife elsewhere!
I though it was a good article....
http://www.babble.com.au/2009/12/21/bad-parent-in-praise-of-the-c-section/
In Praise of the C-Section
I’m not sorry I didn’t have a natural birth.
by Tova Mirvis
December 21, 2009
There’s been a lot of talk lately on Babble – as well in the office – about whether there’s anything such as ‘choice’ in the whole business of childbirth. And, if there is, would you choose a so-called ‘natural’ delivery (no drugs, no epidural, no ‘medical’ intervention whatsoever) or a caesarean? The C-section is traditionally thought of as the inferior method of delivery – or, worse, the lazy cheat’s easy way out. But this post – and the brilliant comments that follow it (originally published on Babble in April this year), gives us the other side of the story. So much so, in fact, we decided to re-publish it. Please feel free to add your comments – we love hearing from you, especially on these controversial topics.
When I was pregnant with my third child, I accidentally wandered into a conversation in which two mothers I’d recently met were extolling the virtues of homebirths and water births, midwives and doulas. When the well-meaning mums asked about my birth plan, I told them I was having a scheduled C-section. Their faces conveyed self-righteous disapproval and my mind was immediately awhirl in disclaimers: I was having the scheduled C not because I wanted the convenience, not because I was afraid of labour, not because I didn’t want to miss my manicure appointment.
“My oldest son would have died if I didn’t have a C-section!” I said instead.
It was unfair to pull the “my kid almost died” trump card, and if I hadn’t skulked off in annoyance and then embarrassment at having reacted so defensively, I could have told them about my first pregnancy and the months of bleeding, followed by the morning at thirty-two weeks in which there was no kicking; then the hours on the monitors where the heart rate was at first fine, then shockingly not fine, which provoked the careening stretcher; the epidural which didn’t have time to take effect, so instead the general anesthesia and the intubation. It was birth as highly medicalised and impersonal as critics of the C-section claim, one in which I had no voice and no control.
I also could have admitted that I’ve occasionally felt a twinge of loss that I’ll never give birth more naturally. Having never experienced labour, I sometimes feel like a little girl eavesdropping on the grown-ups’ tales of childbirth. I pore over pictures my husband took during one of my C-sections, to convince myself that this was my body, my baby. When I watched a friend’s video of her home birth — in water, no less — I felt as I do when watching Olympic figure skaters: as much as I would love to do that, it’s never going to happen.
But that loss is nowhere near what I would have felt had all those highly-interventionist, medical-establishment doctors not been exactly where I needed them. After a month in the NICU, when we were finally ready to take our son home, the resident who’d been on call the night of my C-section told us how blue our baby was. He held his fingers imperceptibly apart and told us we’d come “this close.”
Those words followed me for the four years in which I worked up the courage to get pregnant again. I went back to the same OB, who warned me I would be closely monitored. But this pregnancy was so uneventful that by my third trimester, my doctor raised the possibility of a VBAC. I was aware of the spate of newspaper articles decrying the increased rate of C-sections and moved by a relative’s joy at having a VBAC. Mostly I was tempted by the opportunity to prove to myself that I could do it. My mother used to tell me about her paternalistic male OB who, in the days of twilight medication and fathers in the waiting room, had instructed her to “lie back, sweetheart, you don’t have to do a thing,” to which I’d always rolled my eyes, confident of my physical capabilities and glad for all that had changed in the world.
If I’d tried, and all went well, perhaps this would be an essay in praise of VBAC. But that of course would only be evident in hindsight, when the result of the birth was cradled in my arms. Not yet having crossed over to that safe other side, what my prior experience taught me most starkly was that birth was not a process that I could control. The incision scar fades after a year or two, but the scars of near-tragedy are etched more permanently, making it hard to care about the experience, rather than the result, of birth.
My scars also make it hard not to hear a tone of triumphalism on the part of some who are lucky (because that, after all, is what it is) enough to have the birth of their dreams. Or to hear narcissism at the wishful fantasy that it is simply a matter of “trusting my body,” or to hear folly at the idea that what matters most in a birth is your own experience of it. Surely the current obsession with the process of birth comes in response to the many years in which women were told to lie back and do nothing, yet it reminds me of the bride fixated on the wedding, not the marriage, the bride bedecked with a breathtaking array of flowers, as if the abundant beauty can serve as a talisman against the harsher realities that lie ahead.
For me, the question of VBAC was easily decided when at thirty-seven weeks, my doctor saw a heart rate deceleration. While this wasn’t necessarily cause for alarm, she wanted to do a C-section that evening. Was this the much-maligned elective C, which I was choosing because I was distrustful of my body? Was this the voice of the medical establishment, belittling my capabilities, trampling my rights? Was this an example of a doctor rushing to surgery, for fear of malpractice? What I heard was the voice of my doctor, wise, capable and kind, who had saved the life of my first child. My desire for a certain experience, my image of who I thought I was or wanted to be, mattered least of all.
During my third pregnancy, with a different OB in a different city, there wasn’t a conversation about VBAC. November 26, 8 a.m., was penciled in on our calendars, though given a variety of complications, it seemed unlikely I’d go to term. But the weeks passed and the baby grew, until the date loomed before me, and I remembered more viscerally the physical pain of my previous C-sections. When I told my doctor how afraid I was, his nurse happened to repeat the same sentiment my mother once heard. “Lie back, he’ll take care of everything.”
Beautiful words, those were. Because a C-section is a scary thing in which I was glad to take no active role. Even when it’s planned, it doesn’t necessarily go according to plan. This time, I knew the date so far in advance that I made sure to complete a major project beforehand; the night before, I packed a few days’ worth of school lunches and laid out my kids’ clothes. Most of all, I concentrated on not letting my mind wander to the netherworld of all that could go wrong. Yet no matter how much I’d prepared myself, I still felt terror at being wheeled into that operating room. Despite the fact that I’d had every test and an inordinate number of sonograms, the moment my baby was lifted out was unexpectedly fraught with worry as the neontalogist present was concerned about a possible malformation. While my baby was examined across the room, I had to wait helpless and terrified until I was told she was going to be fine.
Was it the birth of my dreams? Hardly. Do I wish it could have been different? Sure. But compared with the result — my daughter, Liana, little sister to my sons Eitan and Daniel — I really don’t care. If I’ve learned anything in ten years of motherhood, it’s that the way our children are brought into the world means very little for how they live in the world. Nor do the intense hours in which we become mothers shape the months, years and decades of our actually being mothers. And if the experience of childbirth is in fact a crucial process, then let it be the process of teaching us that our children will emerge in ways varied and complicated, not necessarily in times or manners of our choosing, neither made in our image nor as proof of our prowess. Let birth remind us that, with children, so little goes according to even the most well-drawn plan.
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Yay to presenting some balanced info...We all need to hear positives and negatives about natural birth and c-sections. There are some real positives about c-sections and there are some negatives about natural births however this info is rarely heard.
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Thankyou Streacher Bearer, great to finally see a meaningful outlook on CS.
Just what I needed at the moment, while contemplating going back for a second, after a traumatic emergency Ceasar feeling like a failure.
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Wow such an interesting read and good on her for having the courage to right the article.
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Thanks for posting that.
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Interesting read, and good for her that she "really doesnt care" .
Wish I didnt. but then again no, I dont.
Yes, I have my son, who is perfectly healthy, end result is what its all about, I hear some say alot.
What irks me is that MY experience was an un-neccesarian, cascade of intervention that I failed to speak out about, resulting in my feeling rather numb about the whole experience.
I know you probably dont want to hear all my crap, I dont really care right now, I am hearing and reading so much on this "a natural parenting site" about how great c sections are, well, if yours was, great.
mine, and quite a few others werent. deal with it, we only have our own experiences to go by.
I dont know what my point is.
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I haven't been hearing how great Caesarians are on this site Starrrsky, I get more of an impression that if you can avoid them you do. I don't hear anyone singing their praises and that worries me as much as your apparent negative experience.
I can't think of what to say to your comments to have anything sort of positive for you.
My highlighting this article was for those who have to wear their experience as some sort of substandard medal because of the overwhelming view of others from various standpoints. That they don't have to have their birth "graded" because of what they didn't experience.
I know this place can be supportive for many, and I'm sure talking amongst some here might be useful but if things really bite at you like they appear to then seek someone who can help, with enough insight into experiences like yours.
Even with what you have gone through, I don't think you deserve any of your pain.
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What a great article. Thanks for posting
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Nobody is denying that cesarians save the lives of both mothers and babies. If the impression you get from BellyBelly is avoidance at all cost then that is the wrong one. Informed choice of the risk both for and against in all facets or birth and parenting choices is the essence of BellyBelly. Information is power and all thatI haven't been hearing how great Caesarians are on this site Starrrsky, I get more of an impression that if you can avoid them you do. I don't hear anyone singing their praises and that worries me as much as your apparent negative experience.
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I think it means then just as the expecation to be sensitive to many of the "streams" or subject areas in this forum then Caesar mums and families need the same.
Sometimes those that need congratulations and or support can get lost amongst it all!
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That is what the cesarian support section is for. Perhaps you missed it?
Caesarean Section Support - Pregnancy, Birth & Baby Forums ~ BellyBelly
Dude, you are the next PM of this country. Love your work.
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Thanks Raven, I hadn't missed it. Only meaning to say sometimes I just get a perception that goals like VBACs overshadow Caesars-only my perception of course, or that the notion of informed decision making could be perceived as a nice way of swaying women away from Caesars.
I'll spend however, after your reminder, a bit more time reading the Caesarean section posts. Ta
Last edited by Visitor6; January 11th, 2010 at 08:53 PM.
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Indeed, Stretcher Bearer. And, IMHO, that is the right impression to have. There is no doubt in my mind that caesarean section saves the lives of our partners and babies. But it is a lot riskier than a natural birth, and for that reason, it should be reserved for when that increased risk is warranted.
There should be no shame in having a caesarean section. There might be some disappointment, and I think that is natural when anything in life doesn't go according to plan. There might even be some anger, especially when on reflection, we come to understand that if we or our partners had been given different options then their caesarean section might not have been necessary. And I have no doubt that some people are elated, and secure in the knowledge that the surgery was life saving for their partner or their child. But there should never be any shame in having a caesarean section, and no one here on BB would condone that.
In summary: caesareans are life-saving, but risky. They should be an option for any woman who needs one, but if you can avoid them, you should. Pretty much what Stretcher Bearer said.
That's a great idea SB - you will find lots of support in that thread for your choice to have a c/section in that thread. I guess the goal to vbac is not so for every woman. Among women who choose a VBAC it is often due to the desire to have the experience of a natural birth. Which in many women is something very important. Birthing a baby can be if it is chosen to be a very spiritual & important initiation... Or it can just be seen as a way to get the baby out. It will depend on how you feel & it can be many shades in between.
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I think we often interpret other people's birth experiences & choices through our own birthing experience, to a point of not seeing that all experiences and choices are valid. I've read a lot lately about how the experience pales in comparison to the result, and in the scheme of things, of course it does, but that doesn't mean that the experience is not important or significant, and that a birthing woman's needs, desires and choices shouldn't be respected.
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It's a great article.
I don't think it's a question of whether they are great or not, or wearing a substandard medal.... for some the experience can be viewed as lifesaving, necessary & viewed with gratitude for the outcome. For others there is disappointment and sadness, especially if it is felt that the CS was the result of unnecessary interventions.I haven't been hearing how great Caesarians are on this site Starrrsky, I get more of an impression that if you can avoid them you do. I don't hear anyone singing their praises and that worries me as much as your apparent negative experience.
I can't think of what to say to your comments to have anything sort of positive for you.
My highlighting this article was for those who have to wear their experience as some sort of substandard medal because of the overwhelming view of others from various standpoints. That they don't have to have their birth "graded" because of what they didn't experience.
If I had been in the position of the woman writing this article I would quite possible have chosen a repeat CS rather than a VBAC also.
A choice to VBAC and a choice to CS are both individual decisions based on so many different factors...who is to say what is valid for another woman / couple/
I think it is very sad that anyone would feel like they would have their birth 'graded' because of the birth experience they had.
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Skeetaboat, I've got to spread the love but that's exactly what I was thinking when I read the article.
I think every parent's opinion about different birth choices is valid (when based on their own direct experience). Just as every woman's risk level for vaginal vs c-section is slightly different (and can change during labour). Overall, c-sections are riskier for most, especially repeat c-sections but sometimes the risk is around the other way too. There are risks with epidurals and these are often part of a vaginal birth too.
Y'know, it really is in all in our perception. My reading of the disappointing & traumatic birth stories section of BB sees equal numbers of women posting about vaginal vs c-section births. Or if not equal, at least very close. I am someone who had a terrible c-section experience, made worse by the later realisation that it was probably unnecesary. I try to console myself by remembering that even if I'd given birth vaginally, I might still have had a rotten experience (although for different potential reasons).
One final thing, I want to
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