Thanks girls - I have managed to get onto someone at my hospital who has tagged my file and said that she will do her best to keep an eye out for me when I come in and she will do her best to help keep us all together. She has told me to tell my Ob how much this means to me and to make him understand before we go in for C/s. DH has now taken over in dealing with the Ob - I'm a mess. We have an appointment with Ob next week, but hospital lady said to call him now and explain about the not sleeping and crying etc.
I'm just going to try and keep calm for now. Maybe the other midwife I spoke to yesterday wasn't so knowledgeable about the surgery side of things, I don't know.
And I swear if one more of my friends or family tell me, 'well, there must be a reason for it, you're booked in now so it's too late to do much about it' - I am going to scream. Easy to say for friends who have had 2 or more natural drug free births that lasted less than 8 hours where they haven't had to contemplate seperation. '
DH even started off a bit with that mind set - thinking it must be for insurance purposes or liability or something. Now he can see how much this means to me, he suggesting we go visit other hospitals and talk to new obstericians. I hope he understands that it's not that I don't want the baby to be with him, it's just I want all of us to be together.
Anyway - thanks for the understanding and letting me unload here..
Nixon The only reason appears to be policy. Given that plenty of hospitals allow skini to skin and BF'sing recovery it cannot be liability etc, otherwise they would all be subject to the same liability.
Stand your ground. it isn't 30 -45 mins - it is 30 -45 mins in stitching you up (my baby was well and truly gone by this stage) and then another 30 -45 mins in recovery. It is a long time. I had'n't even touched my son when they took him away. It was awful.
I so hope that you get that experience. It is really difficult trying to explain thsi stuff to people who haven't been through it or even contemplated it.
Hope your c-section went well for you Megan and you're happily babygazing at your precious new baby.
Best of luck getting the birth you want Nixon. Be persisent- and respectfully insistent! The more women demand their needs be met, the easier it gets for us to have the birth experiences we deserve. (not that it is our fault if things don't unfold as we wished though!)
OK, so the hospitals that are saying it can't be done are saying it's because they can't spare the midwifery staff to be with the baby. I understand that the recovery staff are there to take care of you and not the baby, I totally get that. What I want to know is, why does there need to be a midwife with the baby at all if there is nothing wrong with the baby? Especially when your husband can be there to take care of the baby if there are any problems?
Midwives don't hang around after a VB to watch the baby do they? Why would they need to be there just because baby was born by C/S?
Has anyone asked their hospital that question? If you have, I'd love to know what their response is.
You know I'd forgotten this thread, but now I have something to add.
Unfortunately, my labor went badly, my baby's head didn't engage at all even when I was fully dilated, and there was a risk of her being in distress because my amniotic fluid was absolutely full of meconium. So we ended up with an emergency caesarian. Even the c/s went difficult, as it turned out, and they had trouble getting her out that way because of the position she was in. These things evidently can happen.
I was upset about having to have a c/s because, among other reasons, I knew they would take my baby away from me for a little while after the operation. We asked them to try to find the staff to allow her to stay with us, but there were no midwives available (it was a stormy, busy night at the hospital). But in the end it actually wasn't so bad.
What happened is that they put her on my chest after she was born, for a short time (a few minutes, I think, not certain). I was so drugged by the epidural, and I couldn't stop shaking all over either. So I couldn't really hold her properly at all. DH had to hold her on my chest, skin-skin.
When they took her away, DH went with her, holding her. I think it was around 30 or 40 minutes while they stitched me up and had me in recovery, before they wheeled me back to them both. But during that time, honestly, I was in such a confused, drugged state, that I don't think I could have been any more use to our daughter than he was, in fact I suspect I would have been rather less, because I couldn't have held her close even if I'd wanted to. And I was confused and upset by the birth, and I wasn't really wanting to have to deal with holding our new baby at the time anyway, awful though that sounds.
The fact is that (in my experience - ymmv), having a c/s is such a traumatic thing to happen to your body, that the emotional anxiety of not being able to be close to the baby for a little while afterwards is small compared to what is going on for you physically, especially if you have a poor reaction to the drugs, as I did. That's how I found it, anyway.
It's nearly 4 weeks on for me now as I write this. I have almost no pain from my scar and I stopped taking painkillers a couple of weeks ago. I'm cautious about lifting things, just to be sensible, but am otherwise active and busy, and things are going fine. DD is beautiful. She is feeding wonderfully well and gaining weight at a great pace. She is interactive and engages with us, doesn't cry much, and seems, as far as I can tell, to trust that we (especially I) will meet her every need fast. She's a calm baby.
As far as I can tell, the way she was born and the events immediately afterwards have not harmed her in any way. Maybe we are lucky in that - it certainly kinda surprises me to remember just how physically traumatised I was in the first few days after the birth. Or maybe it's just how it goes.
Just thought I'd update with what actually happened with my C/S.
History:
Planned for a natural birth. Baby was breech from 21 weeks on. Elective C/S was booked at 36 weeks and we waited to see if the baby would turn. Baby didn't turn.
The day:
2nd of May my DH and I turned up to the hospital at 7am and checked in. My room was ready so I was able to go straight there and wait for someone to come and get me for the epi-spinal.
I got into my gown and then jumped up on my bed that was then wheeled down to the operating floor and we were left in a room for 5 mins to wait for the anaesthetist.
Epi-spinal was inserted (Ouch). Slowly from my waist down started to numb up. I then started to worry about being able to feel something - kept asking the Dr "I shouldn't feel anything, right?". I think my brain was confused about being numb and awake at the same time.
Anyway - got wheeled into the operating room and there were about 8 people inc. Anaesthetist, Ob, Ob assistant, midwife, scrub nurse, me , DH plus a few others that I can't remember. Around 8.35 - 8.40am the screen went up and the Ob inserted a catheter.
8.48am, after some very strange pushing and wiggling sensations from the Ob trying to extract my baby, I was being shown my baby girl - we didn't know the gender bbefore her birth so it was such a lovely surprise. I'd highly recommend not finding out the gender - it was so great finally knowing.
Not sure exactly what the Anaesthetist was pumping into me the whole way through, but I was feeling a tiny bit shaky and a bit light headed. Not too much though - I still knew what was going on around me.
Asher was given a really quick wipe, cord was cut by my DH and then she was placed skin to skin on my chest where she remained for about 25minutes or more while they stiched me up. She was extremely calm and just lay there looking at me.
After a while my shakes were getting a worse and it was getting difficult to hold her in the right place (she was slipping slightly towards my face) so I asked DH to take her and get her weighed and get her Hep B and Vit K shots. She was then placed back on my chest for another short period.
Once I was done, DH took Asher and went to our room with the midwife. I was rolled into recovery. There were 2 other men in recovery. Maybe it was so quiet because it was so early on a saturday.
I was in recovery for around 25 minutes and to be honest I felt a little knocked around from the drugs, but was feeling much better once I got back to my room.
Asher fed well immediately and we have been happily getting to know each other since.
All in all I was quite happy with the way things panned out - especially considering the panic I was in a few weeks ago.
Some tips:
Write a birth plan - include things like:
- whether you want skin to skin immediately or after baby is wiped off
- whether DH wants to cut the cord
- if you want the ob to give you a running commentary of what he is doing
- if you want the screen lowered for the moment your baby is born
- if you don't know the gender - how do you want to find out? Ob to announce it or show you the baby so you can discover for your self.
- take a small beanie/hat in with you so that the baby can be kept warm whilst on your chest.
- take a camera - even if it is one of the nurses who takes the pic's for you. I'm glad I have a few pic's of Asher being born.
- make sure your OB knows how important it is to you that seperation time is limited
Having now been through a C/S I can understand when they say the reason for seperation is due to the recovery room. None of the other people in recovery had just had babies - they were elderly gentlemen. I could totally undersatnd how upsetting it could be for some people in recovery if they had just been through a traumatic surgery and a newborn is brought into recovery. That being said - I still don't like the idea of seperation and I am lucky that mine was very limited.
Best advice I can give if any one is really upset about the seperation would be to talk to your caregiver, talk to the hospital. Make sure that they know how you are feeling.
Hi everyone and thanks for the great read here. You know I never thought that the baby would have to be seperated from you AT ALL if thats not want you wanted, so I'm glad I know differently before I TTC #2 later this year.
My son was born via emergency c/s (I was originally going to induced) and he had to have an operation immediatley after his birth so we knew well beforehand that we would be seperated and that was ok, just what we had to do first time around.
Because of this though, the only thing I really really really wanted for next time around is for us not to be seperated at all and for us to be in recovery together, so what an eye opener that I might be told no!
Hmmmm...yes definatley up for that challenge when the time comes. Also the thought that I might have family holding the baby before me is a big no no, so great tip there too. What ever time the c/s is scheduled for it wont actually be until 3 hours later so far as our families will know...thanks again! xxx
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks