Thanks girls - I have managed to get onto someone at my hospital who has tagged my file and said that she will do her best to keep an eye out for me when I come in and she will do her best to help keep us all together. She has told me to tell my Ob how much this means to me and to make him understand before we go in for C/s. DH has now taken over in dealing with the Ob - I'm a mess. We have an appointment with Ob next week, but hospital lady said to call him now and explain about the not sleeping and crying etc.

I'm just going to try and keep calm for now. Maybe the other midwife I spoke to yesterday wasn't so knowledgeable about the surgery side of things, I don't know.

And I swear if one more of my friends or family tell me, 'well, there must be a reason for it, you're booked in now so it's too late to do much about it' - I am going to scream. Easy to say for friends who have had 2 or more natural drug free births that lasted less than 8 hours where they haven't had to contemplate seperation. '

DH even started off a bit with that mind set - thinking it must be for insurance purposes or liability or something. Now he can see how much this means to me, he suggesting we go visit other hospitals and talk to new obstericians. I hope he understands that it's not that I don't want the baby to be with him, it's just I want all of us to be together.

Anyway - thanks for the understanding and letting me unload here..