Having a failed VBAC (even though I don't think I failed exactly) makes it very very difficut to trust your body to do the right thing & can make you very frightened of going into labour again. Having one emergency c/s can crush your trust in your body, but having two (or more) is very very hard on your confidence.
When I arrived at the hospital for our c/s with DS and was told how far I was dilated then taken to a labour room..I was secretly excited and terrified at the same time. When they asked if I wanted to attempt a VBAC I got even more scared. I was lying on my back - though I don't think I would've moved to another position, so I knew this wasn't the best option, I was already strapped up to the monitor and they inserted the needle in my hand as a "just in case"
All I could think was, I've been here before..on my back, strapped to a machine, needles in hands, contracting, sucking the life out of the gas...it was a familiar path that had ended with my confidence being shattered first time, and which I wanted to avoid the second time. So I chose the c/s. I do have trouble dealing with it, but then other days I know it was right for my emotional well being.
Sarah, I think you are an ABSOLUTE LEGEND for educating and empowering yourself with attempting a VBAC with Juliette..

Nic