Sirenz, I just wanted to pop in and say how brave I think you are. As you put, neither birthing option is "easy" - and you are chosing what is best and right for you. I hope you receive all the support and compassion you need as you approach your birthing time.
((hugs))
I'm expecting my first baby in 13 weeks so please take all this with the pinch of salt it deserves! I've got a low level kind of anxiety thing going on but in the past it's been much worse so I know how paralysing it can be!
If you're obsessing worrying about VB and a CS takes away that worry, you're going to have a better pregnancy so go with that. Yes, weigh up the pros and cons re recovery times (longer generally with a CS) but it seems like your mental health should take priority here.
I was going to sit on the fence and say, see how you go when you're actually in labour and get an epidural if it's all too much. But it sounds like you've made a decsion to go with the CS - if you feel like a weight has been lifted from your mind, then it's probably the right decision.
Do whatever you need to do to have a good pregnancy. You don't need to be stressed.
People will judge you whatever decision you make so don't even take them into account. And if it really bothers you just lie and say "actually I gave birth naturally in a field with just the moon for company. I found that nature just told my body what to do. The baby came out like an angel and I devoured the placenta in one gulp."
Hi Sirenz!
I totally sympathise with you about your anxiety/panic issues. It is a real condition, and only those who have it can fully understand your way of thinking IYKWIM. This is one of the many reasons why I chose to have an elective CS. I agonized over my decision for Months and Months, and the choice I made in having the CS was right for me, and I dont regret my decision at all. I'm sure you have explored all options, just go with what you feel is right in your heart for you and your baby. Goodluck!!!
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