Hi Sirenz!
I totally sympathise with you about your anxiety/panic issues. It is a real condition, and only those who have it can fully understand your way of thinking IYKWIM. This is one of the many reasons why I chose to have an elective CS. I agonized over my decision for Months and Months, and the choice I made in having the CS was right for me, and I dont regret my decision at all. I'm sure you have explored all options, just go with what you feel is right in your heart for you and your baby. Goodluck!!!