Am I being an UNREASONABLE ex-wife? I want both opinions.. ex-wives & new wives.

[Madham]

What wouldd you do? Would you tell the DD the situation.. or just try sort it out with ex? We are currently going through mediation anyway as when he started to change his mind on things, I decided that if I'm paying for things, he has no choice in things. EG, what schools, what activities she does etc. So this will all be going through court orders etc in coming months.

Well i have told my dd the truth about everything concerning her dad but she is very mature for her age so i guess its up to you and whether you think she is old enough to understand. I agree if you are paying for everything he has no choice in schools etc.

[Kitt3n]

I have given up trying to milk to ex cow..... hes just full of Bull S***!!!

DD knows that we pay for EVERYTHING for her and I truly believe that a she grows older she will appreciate me for that - well here's hoping.

The ex just isnt worth wasting the oxygen required to speak to him re helping to fund anything for her.......

[Lulu]

I would never, ever tell my child their father thought something else was more important than their needs EVER.

Can you get a formal financial agreement made, it sounds like you might need it. What a w@nker (to paraphrase Kitt3n!).

[Beatrix]

Oh hun..

I am in single mum of 3 and i dont think your being unresonable... possibly dreaming etc but not unresonable

My exH has prmoiseed the same regarding high school etc but yeah i highly doubt it and def kknow that if a new person came on the scene it would be out the window.
my ex just had a whinge about a $7 rise in his child support!!! he is also always broke but has new Nike clothing..... and wouldnt even help me out to get the girls some runner a couple of weeks ago



i really hope he pulls is thumb out but i doubt he will, but i think your right def dont involve you DD is finacial situation

[Marlene]

I dont think you are being unreasonable at all, especially since private education had already been discussed, and you have offered 50% custody, more than most mothers would ever dream of doing.

My ex does not pay 1 cent towards his children. CS says he has to pay $5.70 a week (and that is for 2 children, yes, two children!!!!). He can't even manage to do that!
He has his own business (which he obviously dodgies up the books). It is an extremely successful business, he also has his own HUGE home and a healthy supply of drugs. Oh well, I don't really care, I don't want his money and the girls aren't interested in seeing him anymore anyway, especially since they don't even get birthday or xmas cards. Occasionaly a birthday call to say something is on the way (which never arrives), but even those calls are only every couple of years.
I'm sure he makes sure there is just enough contact so that they can not change their surnames to my DH's name without his written permission. GRRRR.

OOps, sorry, I think I just hijakced your post.

[Sammiejane]

Hey Marlene,
DH has a business too, we dont dodgy the books, but his income at the end of the fin year is always a lot less than is reality... due to the profit and loss situation of the business (its not a company)
Unlike most men, DH is happy to contribute to the cost of raising his DS... One year he had to again go to the CSA for an interview as the assessment came back as saying he need to pay something like $20 an month, there was no way that we believed this fair and continued to pay the amount that was set for the previous year... the reason that it was reassessed was that his earning CAPACITY was greater than what was reflected... can you not ask for a reassessment on those terms.

I know that most women and mothers have it really really tough, and we (DH and I) have a huge dislike of those men that cant take responsibility for their kids - it means that he is unfortunately lumped in with a$$holes that are out there.

Sorry for your situation

[Pretty Butterfly]

In reguards to the school fees, I have just discovered that if a ex partner had agreed to pay half before enrollment, CSA CAN make him pay!!!

I have just been through this with my ex, but he decided to pay without going through the process.

Just call CSA, and they can send you a form. He then has a form to fill too, saying why he shouldn't have to pay. I have been told by many that the father rarely wins, and will be made to pay. As long as he verbally agred to pay, then they make him honour that rather than pull the child out of private schooling.

Hope that helps, and good luck!!!

[Marlene]

SammieJane.....I do understand what you mean about your situation, but this is totally different, he has actually put the business into someone elses name that has nothing to do with the business (this other person hasn't put any money into the business and does not take a cut of the money). My kids also dont even get the $5.70 a week that he is supposed to pay (and it has been about 11 years since we broke up). Gee, times must sure be tough for him.