living on CL alone as a single mum - paying private rental - how do you do it?

[Amity]

I did it, but was living at home with parents (not renting). However I did pay massive amounts in child care (over $300/wk) which would be equivalent to private rental.

Plan every cent. Meal plan, drive plan, play plan.
Only use the car when you have to (or don't have a car at all, public transport is often much cheaper than maintaining a car).
Cook everything from scratch.
Eat vegetarian a few days a week.
Have play dates at the park.
Join the library for books and DVDs.
Freecycle.
Get to know your local op shop.
Go to church - they often have people who are willing and able to help you with $$ and other day to day things.
Don't be afraid to go to a charity if you have to.
Find out what your local Bakers' Delight do with their bread at the end of the day, tell them you're poor and see if they will donate you some.

Good luck. I've bought milk with 5c pieces more times than I care to count.

[Trillian]

I don't have any advice, but I hope that it all works out for you

[Jennifer13]

Oh hun

It seriously sounds like you should maybe find somewhere to stay until he settles down a little, even if just for a night or two.

It sucks that you're going to have to deal with him being like this. I'm sorry he's found out about your plans.

[Beatrix]

Gigi- come stay here!!! your are more then welcome. you and bilby will have to share a room and it may be crowded but please Im serious.. I can be there tonight to help you or even tomorrow when he is at work

[Gigi]

thanks Ness, you're so kind. if i thought it would be just for a few nights, i prolly would take you up on your kind offer. but i have no clue how long it will take me to find somewhere to live, and i coudln't do that to anyone (land on them indefinately).

[Olive]

gigi please take ness up on her offer,

[Traveller]

Gigi I'm so sorry that CL broke your confidentiality. Please take Ness up on her offer, at least to give you some time to find somewhere permanent. And when you are more settled I think a complaint to CL is in order to save the next woman going through the same thing.

[Gigi]

my head is bursting, i don't even know what i should do first, (in the five hours i have, before he gets home).

Ness has got the biggest heart, but how can i land on her, when i have no idea how long it's for? i am not eligible for emergency housing, competition is stiff, rents are high, it would not be a quick process.

and now i can't do the "flit", i won't be able to take the washing machine with me (and other things i was planning to take). so the move will be much more expensive.

i am scared and feeling a bit in shock

bilby's dad has never shown signs of violence, so please don't worry on that score.

i know he will berate me tonight about how i could never be a single mum, wouldn't be capable of looking after bilby on my own etc.

maybe he won't say much - he knows i'm trapped - can't find somewhere else to live - maybe he'll just laugh at how trapped i am - don't want to be here, but can't do anything else.

i guess if i was him, i'd be glad to be sleeping in a bed again (he's been on the sofa for years). THe sooner i'm out, the sooner he gets to sleep in a bed again. And he could stop living like a monk.

but he won't give bilby up without a fight, how can i blame him for that, i feel that same way. we both love her to pieces, just not each other.

i bet i get 1,000 promises from him tonight. I will do X, I will do Y (so then you won't leave).
heard it all before, too many times to count.

i think i will pack an overnight bag, with important docs and few changes of clothes for me and billbs. so if i do get to the point, of needing to jump in the car and leave, at least i've got the basics on me.

argh