Knight - I am a single parent. I am a professional - I only say that because I need you to realise I understand what it means to earn a "good" income.

My exhusband earns over 150K per year. I get not a great deal in FTB a & b. Because of my child support. Unlike yourself my exhusband will not pay for schooling & I wouldn't even consider asking for more for extra activities as I know what the answer would be - and I am too proud to hear a no... That is my issue.

Whatever you pay helps your child. It doesn't matter where it goes. It helps put a roof over his head, sheets on his bed, a bed, clothes, water, heating, electricity, gas and telephone, internet, a school bag, lunch etc.

I am sure you are really earnestly seeking information. But I really think it's a done deal. You are not together. You pay xYz. That's it. Trust it goes to help your child. If you start questioning where it will really not help the relationship between you - most women would want to rip your throat out being asked that question... The best gift you can give your son is a functioning relationship with his mother - there is no money that can measure that.