Not really the same situation, but.. how would you feel if your employer asked you to itemise exactly what you spend your money on? What if you were doing something they didn't agree with and told you to spend your money how they wished? No, you aren't her employer, but the principle is similar, if your son is being cared for and he has everything he needs, then anything else is none of your concern. Not meaning to be harsh, but once the money leaves your account, it ceases to be any of your business. If your son is alive and well then that is the main thing. You choose to pay her extra, which you are not required to, so maybe you need to think about that. Maybe if you told her you would only be paying what is legally required of you, then she would have to learn to live with it and need to rethink her spending habits.

My ex used to only pay between $12 & $20 a month, and he went almost 2 years with paying nothing at all. It is a little better now, with more reasonable payments that take into account what we are both earning. So I view the child support as something to either use to get things he may need on short notice, put away for DS's future, or to use to treat us both because there have been times when I have had to go without what I needed in order to be able to cater to DS's needs or wants. I have never bothered talking to the ex about it because he has made it clear that he doesn't care and it just causes tension.

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