ADD/ADHD Your opinion on medicating - long

[MrsFabuloso]

Skye,
Marydean has given some great advice.
You have alot on your plate with two youngsters and a newborn too. One thing I though of is maybe her behaviour is escalating because of your new addition?
Another place to look for help is the Triple P parenting program. They help with positive parenting. They run short courses all over the place. Maybe it would be good for you and your hubby to go to some of these?
Alot of foods contain things that would negatively affect behaviours, not just junk foods. Have you noticed she gets hyper after eating anything in particular? Sometimes it's oranges or other fruits that can do it. I know alot of breads have additives in them that aren't very good. There are more but I can't think of them. A dietician could help. And possibly a naturopath.
Medication definately has it's place for some children, but I would try all other avenues first before medication. ADD/ADHD/ODD drugs are serious stuff and can have detrimental affects also, so I would try the other things first. Though sometimes it is a combination of things that work the best.
Good luck hun. I hope you find an answer.

[Lulu]

I truly, really 2nd the advice about the Triple P program. Start there. Its for your sanity as well. You will probably need to organize your hubby to go too, or at least take notes for him.
You need a 'wall' of parenting for little tykes like these, you can't do this on your own. You need a 'plan'!

Also, re child proof your house. Get EVERYTHING out of the way, screwdrivers, shampoo, basically anything that can be squirted, squashed or used as a weapon....
Here, lots of things live on top of the fridge, talcum powder lives on the bookcase, shampoos bubble bath on top of the shower recess, and toys that have turned into weapons on top of a high unit.

If you can, and I highly recommend this one get out and about with Jaz on your own, even if it is just to run errands. Give her an agenda ie - bakery, bank then to visit Aunty Margo. I often feel my DS wants alllll the attention allllllll of the time, and negative attention is just as good as positive to him . However on the occasion when I can, I leave DD at home with her dad, take DS with me and he is my perfect little helper.

DO let your mum take her, even if overnight and a day. Nannas have more time and a different routine. My liddle monster quite happily has lunch at the Yacht Club and is perfectly well behaved with his nan. Well he has moments but nan has more patience and less babies around!
We get a break, he feels grown up - and does get allllll the attention when he is there. Jaz will also get a break from her own cr@ppy behaviour routines too. This can only be a positive thing for all of you. Don't look at it from a negative view - we ALL need a village to help us raise our kids, this does not mean failure as a parent.

DS is also bluddy awful to his sister too. Sometimes it feels like he should have been an only child........
In any case I am getting some help on a one on one basis to help me help DS with his behaviour. Don't feel alone - there are many avenues you can take before you have to consider medication.

xoxoxoxoxo

[sunshine_sieben]

Skye, I have absolutely no advice for you. Just wanted to send you lots of hugs. It sounds like you're having a really rough time and trying your hardest to do the right thing. I think it is very brave of you to be so honest and I definitely can't blame you for feeling some resentment to your challenging toddler. Hey, I have a beautiful head strong one year old and although most of the time I love her so much that it hurts, sometimes I feel some resentment towards her. She just really pushes my buttons. And when sleep deprivation is added to the mix, it can get challenging. Now you have 3 kids and one that is definitely a handful. So no wonder that you feel the way you feel.
I hope that you can find help with your situation. But it sounds like some of the ladies have already given you heaps of good advice.
Love, Sasa

[~Saram~]

Hugs to you, parenting is so difficult especially of there are underlying issues. Our son has ASD and it has had a huge impact on our parenting decisions. We did triple P and it was could however it doesn't have the same impact with kids with special needs and although we still use the parameters we have different expectations and different thisngs that work for us.

Something we have had a big success with is dietry changes, changing from milk to soy and we are now trying A2 mlk. We should be trying gluten free too but at the moment his behaviour isn't that bad that it is worth making such a dramatic change. My friend has tried an elimination diet based on amines and salitides or something which we are going to try pm me if you want me to get the details for you.

Basically in the end lthough none of us like to medicate our kids or to have them diagnoised with a problem, however if push comes to shove and you are diagnoised then there are lots of options with techniques and yes maybe medication. Also keep in mind though that these are real conditions and that the same as you would deny someone with cystic fibrosis physio or a diabetic insulin I have seen some kids with ADD become much more settled and able to interact with society yet still remain themselves and not "drugged out"

All the est and hope you find a solution that works for you

[karen130373]

my son was digonised with ADHD when he was in kinder and they told me i will give you a prescription for the medication i said no i would like to look else where and i got a second option from a paedrition and he said sometimes drs just tell you what you want to here and then give you medicition even when it isnt really neccercery so the paedrition told me to take out alot of sugar (some sugar is fine) but its the colouring and addidives that is added to things that can set alot of kids of, so the dr gave me a long list of things to take away and he was a changed boy in a matter of a few weeks my son is now 11 and i still watch what he has but i let him have a bit more as they say most kids do grow out of ADHD my son was very much like yours he had split his sisters head open (his sister is 2 years older) and he smashed her front teeth now there capped and also has given her a few blood noses. Dont get me wrong its still very hard sometimes my son still gets into one of his moods and nothing can stop him but it might be once a month the rest he is just a normal boy fighting with his siblings and parents
anyway goodluck with it

[New Dawn]

I dont really have much addvice to give you and sounds like everyone has given you heaps of great stuff anyway, But here is what I have to say anyway...

My mum was told when she had my sister over 35 yrs ago that my sister was hyper and no to give her red food colouring ( ADD and ADHA werent around then) but she went to her doctor one day as she just couldnt cope and felt like a horible mum as she felt like she couldnt love my sister like she did the rest of her children and this is what the doctor told her and Mum has always said it was the best thing she had ever heard so now I will tell it to you... No one ever said you have to LIKE your children but you will always LOVE them and there is a big difference, between love and liking someone... So never feel you are bad a bad mum or that you are doing something wrong and I truly hope that you find the answers you need soon...

I hope this might help you when you are feeling low

[~clover~]

Thanks heaps everyone.


I tried looking up foods & ADHD last night & got one sight that said Foods will not makee a difference as ADD/ADHD is neurological. But then I have heard alot of people say it helped. I am going to give it a go.

Marydean - Thanks heaps. She likes fresh foods alot. Even raw potatoe. One of her faves. She doesn't have much though. Will definetly look into it.

Kylieem - I thought that too. It hasn't helped with me being tired & losing my temper alot easier. But he's only 3 months old. It start ed gettting worse about 12 months ago. When she says she hates us all, she says 'I hate everyone except Jesse'. So I dunno.

Lulu2 - My mum lives 10 hours away from us so it's kinda hard to get her to take her. Even though she wants so. My IL's are only 1 1/2 hours away, but the only 2 times I've asked them to take the kids they said no coz the first time FIL was in a bad mood?? I was nearly half way there when they rang me. & the 2nd time they were going to Sydney for the weekend. So, not real helpful.
MIL used to be one of my best mates, but lately she's been making comments making it my fault. Like No you might get away with that at home, but not here. She doesn't get away with anything at home. That hurts.I don't really wanna ask them for help anymore.
I thought my house was pretty safe, but we just forget sometimes. The shampoo is kept up all the time now. Has been for a while. & the hand soap.

Sunshine_sieben - Toddlers often display that kind of behavior, but Jaz is 6 now. She should've really grown out of the tanty's & stuff by the time she was 4 or 5.
Thanks for the support.

~saram~ - I do agree with you. My brother & sister were both medicated & only took it for school & did alot better. I thinnk if nothing else works you have to, coz they need to be able to have a normal life like everyone else. & it does affect their lives.

Karen130373 - Sounds like you really had your hands full! Jaz hasn't gone that far yet, but does show bri how to do things that will hurt her. Like when Bri was 11 months old she was jumping around on concrete steps. I told her to stop coz Bri would copy & hurt herself. Well she didn't stop & 5 minutes Bri fell & split her head open. Copying her like I said. Now she will get up & stand on the back of the lounge with no wall behind it & tell Bri to get up there with her. Disaster waiting to happen!
Glad things are better for you though.

Tali - What you said made me cry. Thankyou so much.