Hugs to you, parenting is so difficult especially of there are underlying issues. Our son has ASD and it has had a huge impact on our parenting decisions. We did triple P and it was could however it doesn't have the same impact with kids with special needs and although we still use the parameters we have different expectations and different thisngs that work for us.

Something we have had a big success with is dietry changes, changing from milk to soy and we are now trying A2 mlk. We should be trying gluten free too but at the moment his behaviour isn't that bad that it is worth making such a dramatic change. My friend has tried an elimination diet based on amines and salitides or something which we are going to try pm me if you want me to get the details for you.

Basically in the end lthough none of us like to medicate our kids or to have them diagnoised with a problem, however if push comes to shove and you are diagnoised then there are lots of options with techniques and yes maybe medication. Also keep in mind though that these are real conditions and that the same as you would deny someone with cystic fibrosis physio or a diabetic insulin I have seen some kids with ADD become much more settled and able to interact with society yet still remain themselves and not "drugged out"

All the est and hope you find a solution that works for you