Just to start I know alot of people don't agree with this, but I'm desperate.

We've been having problems with my 6 year old for about 2 1/2 to 3 years now.
It has been alot worse than ever before since about the middle of last year.
She has always been fairly full on & strong willed & a bit pig headed, but the last 12 months have been hell.

I totally understand that sisters are supposed to fight all the time & blame eachother for things. It all started with Jazmyne drawing on walls or tipping out full buttles of shampoo or something & kinda putting the blame on Bri. If I caught her doing it she would say 'But Bri was doing it first!'.
OK, Bri was just 2 when this all got unmanageable. There's a big difference between knowing right from wrong in a 2 year old & a 5 year old.
Then she started to get physicaly violent with Bri. Hitting, kicking, biting, pushing, pushing or pulling her off things.
Around the same time started always with out fail arguing with me everytime she got the chance. If she got in trouble was sent to her room where she would scream at me & throw things around & kick the walls etc. Always has to have the last word & will fight to the end.
To start with I was sending her to her room. Then, yes I did smack for a while. Lately I've done everything from time out, to smacking, to sending her to bed, to ignoring her.
It has escelated & I'm feeling like I can't handle it anymore.
I've lost it a few times, but never really physically hurt her.
Admittedly I have thought about it.
I did grab her by the shoulders once, but changed my mind & as I let go of her I pushed her & she hit her head on the wall.
I felt horrible & went straight to my room & cried. It didn't really hurt her, but when she found out I was crying she started screaming that it hurt so I would feel bad.
She is now violent towards her cousin as well - something I thought she would NEVER do.
DH just thinks she needs more dicipline. So I try to keep him out of it, coz he's very much like her & loses control too easy. He does smack her. Not to the point of abuse mind you. Always with his hand & on the bum, but I hate it when he does it. If she's pushed to far he will smack 2 or 3 times &even though it's not really enough to hurt her, she screams like she is getting beaten up. She screams like that just from being sent to her room by the way. She has gone in there screaming HELP! before coz she was yelling & I walked in there.
I mean screaming for the attention. I think she thinks if she screams enough we will forget about what she's done wrong & sympithise with her. With the screaming I am honeslty waiting for the neighbours to ring DOCs. I've explained this to her, but it doesn't make a difference.
Yesterday she stood on the trampoline screaming coz I told her it was time to come inside. She didn't want to yet, but it was getting cold & I wanted to close the house up & put the heaters on. She started so I said OK & shut the door anyway. 15 minutes later she was still screaming, so I went & got her - didn't say anything to her & carried her inside.
She also constantly throws tantrums if she doen't get something she wants.
She got a new school bag for her bday 8 weeks ago. Dora bag.
Bri just started preschool, so I got her a bag yesterday. Jazmyne chucked a fit! Going on about it being better.It was a 2 bag set. A suitcase thing with a smaller backpack. I explained that Bri was too small to have a big bag like hers, & that they were the only smaller bags they had. Didn't help, so to avoid even more of a scene I told her I'd get her one next time. I wouldn't normally do that by the way.

I'm feeling different towards her. I still love her, but it's not the same as I used to. My mum has offered to take her during holidays & any time I need a break, but I can't do that. If I send her away, even just for a week, I feel like I'm giving away my baby. As hard as it is I can't give up on her. She's mine. I'm not walking away no matter how tempting it is.

We've been seeing a psycologist to try to sort it all out. At the last visit he said he was going to organise some assesments for ADD/ADHD, ODD (Oppisitional Defiance Disorder) & Developemental learning delays. He did mention medication for ADD if thats a problem.

She does have a healthy diet with not much sugar. If I didn't feel the way I towards her & if she wasn't having probs at school, I wouldn't medicate. But her problems are interfering with her whole life. At home, at school & socially.

I just want to love her like I should again. Not feel like she's my problem so I gotta deal with her.

SIL has said a few times that she's lucky she's not her kid, she wouldn't be able to handle it. This behavior is constant. Constant fighting between her & Bri, or doing something she knows is wrong ag, drawing on walls or arguing with me about something.
I started a journal for the psyc at 4.15 yesterday & there are 8 things inthere & 3 pages full just from the 4 hours before she went to bed. Including tipping Bri off a beanbag coz she sat on the wrong one & chasing her with a screw driver.

To those of you who got this far...What do you think?