thanks well said and much appreciated.

i know when it comes to it i wont hesitate to ehlp them probably though again. i have alot of life experience
and even just taking them away regains their perspective when they arent coping.

one had a baby on her own at age 19 doesnt drive has phobias around driving doesnt have a washer dryer and understandably needs breaks. i also went on ebay and got her all she needed for months so that she could focus on being a good mum

yet do they hesitate to stabe me in the back.

yes what you say it very true. whether i will put it in practice if my child were in a hellish crisis, probably not.

3 years ago some of my kids did things that i never ever recovered from
yet when one spiraled downwards and needed me i was there for her and for ther other and for any of them.

one of them apologised and took responsibility and another just said she wont be upset about thigns she did when she wasnt well. and yet now she is doing similar things

the wise self says she isnt handling thigns well forgive her let her be

but the massive distress and hurt i am facing from very traumatic actions she has taken to hurt me suddenly make me nver ever feel like being around her again.

some families work together in a crisis and some make the crisis 10 times bigger by also backstabbing each other. thats whats happening currently. i'm sick of being the loving patient giving forgiving understanding onewho is therefore an easy target for abuse scapegoating and emotional stabbing.

but right now i feel like i never ever want to have anythign to do with them that i want to build a happy life in work and relationship without them.