Do either of your boys get on really well with your youngest son??? I would give them their own space, if you can, and get one to share a room with DS3. Maybe put DS3 with DD, and let the boys have their own room, for just a while??
My 11 yr is already waiting for my 2 yr old son to share with him , rather than the 8 yr old.
Maybe they need to be apart more often, need their own space, and not have to fight for it??
Maybe convert some of the garage for awhile?? I think boys esp. need some down time, esp at their ages. Hormones are just a wink away!!
Im sorry that you are having a tough time
I cant really relate as i am just starting our family....
BUT with the room thing, my sister and i were both shockers... one day Mum had enough of asking and asking and us doing the same as yous, hiding stuff under the bed etc, that she went into our room and anything that was not put away or dumped under the bed or the floor of the wardrobe was put into a massive garbage bag... the contents of this bag was strew over the back yard when we got home from school..
Anything was that not put away that evening went in the bin! we kept our rooms pretty tidy after that
Your local community health system might have a behaviour support unit you can contact for some support. When my DH first started working OS, my DD1 (then 8 yo) started kicking up bigtime, so I asked for help. A really lovely kind lady came to our house, observed the dynamics, and gave me some secret mummy strategies for coping. Basically it's all about making the consequences fall back on them, but also creating positive family time that they want as a reward. This might mean 1/2 hour of special time before they go to bed, playing a game, reading a book with mum and/or dad (tv doesn't count LOL). Then each night, the amount of time they muck around after bedtime gets deducted from the next night's bedtime, and they miss out on family time. Eg, if they usually go to bed at 8.00 and they muck up for an hour, then the next night's bedtime becomes 7.00pm. Trust me this works like a charm. Also you could try to stagger their bed times so one goes to bed half an hour before the next one. Anyway that's just one trick they taught me, of many. HTH
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