I would say that they NEED their dad right now hun. You're not tossing them aside, you're allowing them the chance to spend more time getting to grips with who THEY are in a different but incredibly relevant (to them - they're half him afterall) environment. I think oftentimes as teenagers it's easy to become complacent about our lives and think things aren't fair when in fact things are great.

Like, i can kind of imagine your oldest wanting more attention when you began having more babies (change is scary for all of us, right?), and acting out to get it, and you being really worried about that and doing as much as you could but then more babies, and now another round of trouble (because #2 saw #1 getting the extra attention or is just plain acting out his hero - it's possible #2 sees #1 as his most relevant male role model, teenage years being the "You can't tell me what to do you're not even my DAD/MUM" years in step families...?) and you're at breaking point - that's NORMAL hun. You've not done anything wrong! I think your sons will benefit hugely from the reality check provided by the fact that dad has rules and a expectations too and it is THEIR vision of reality which is skewed. Life is not all about them being happy and getting everything they want the way they want it. It can be very harsh learning that, but they need to now or life will be much harder than it needs to be.

As for the next 3, by then you'll have had loads of practice, the family set-up will be different, and you'll have the older, wiser first 2 sons to help you through it. Don't stress. No guilt. Keep smiling, it confounds the enemy.



Bec