Hi Butterflypirate,
my dd was assesed at the same age as your daughter for all three, her devlopment was similar in didn't realy speak till 2 and started walking with support at 16 months and on own by 18 months.
She was finally diagnosed ODD, i have learnt that at times it is best to let her be and then sort it out latter, we went threw having a psycologist (spelling) come to the school and try and sort out a program for her. In the end i changed schools and they have been great. One thing I have discovered is not telling her teacher she has ODD this year as actually helped, as the past 3 years the teachers have then blamed her for everything. She is now in year 4 and actually controls most of it herself, she will say mum I need to be by myself.
Diet does play a bit of a role in it to. We had a feelings chart where she could put the pointer on how she was feeling to help her other siblings to know when not to go near her, this helped heaps and she used one at school for awhile whiched helped to.
If you have any questions don't hesitate to ask.
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