Hi girls,

Thanks for your replies.

We went to see the pead on Tuesday and unfortunately did not find any answers. Actually I felt that the doctor sort of fobbed be me off to be quite honest. He spent a bit of time getting to know DS, asking him all about himself, school, friends etc. DS was very co-operative and unbelievably polite - which he can be of course to other people - the problem is more with DF and myself, which is a common sympton of ODD ie. that the child will argue and be more defiant with the adults they are close to. The doctor then had DS play with some toys (still in the same room) while he asked me some questions about my pregnancy and the labour. DS was 8 weeks premature and I have heard, don't know how true this is, that babies born early - before 37 weeks - are more likely to suffer from conditions like ADD, ADHD, ODD etc.

We then spoke a bit about his biological father and his problems with drugs and alcohol and the doctor asked if I saw similarities between him and DS. When I said yes, and that it scares me, he said that he could be a 'chip off the old block'!!!! OMG, what am I supposed to do with that information???? I was really annoyed at that stage and then he went on to say that the whole step parent/new baby in the house could be the cause of things and would probably settle down soon because - "he is 9 now and he will probably grow out of it" - UM!! I had told him straight up this behaviour had been going on for over 7 years and that he was like it while I was still with his father and that I didn't feel that having a new baby had made it worse.

He then checked him over, his weigth, height etc which was all fine and then said to come back in 6 weeks if everything was still the same. Well, after 7 years of it being like this why does he think that it will be gone in 6 weeks????

Anyway, he suggested that DF and I go and do a parenting program, which we will. It is the Triple P one, has anyone heard of it? I posted in the parenting thread asking if anyone had taken part in it but havent received any replies.

Oh and before I was leaving he said "because he is so calm here I won't prescribe anything". Well thats good because I wouldn't be giving him anything anyway!!!!

I've decided that I will go back to my doctor and ask for another referral but this time to see a psychologist. There is a history of mental illness in my family so I need to get on top of this, I'm scared for my little man.

rayray - yeah a lot of the symptons are associated with the 'terrible twos' but most kids grow out of that, whereas kids with ODD seem to keep on with that defiant behaviour.

cindyb - that arguing is such classic behaivour. Oh my DS is great at that one. And they actually thrive on these arguments. It is very sad.

Sorry for the rambling girls! Thanks for your interest BTW.