I think better safe than sorry. Ultimately, it is much easier for you to ask questions now than pick up the pieces later. Alarm bells are going off in your head and that's great it means you are thinking about the welfare of your child. Don't ignore them just because other people think you are over-reacting.
Thank you again girls for all your wonderful replies. My DH called FDC head office and they basically said, unless it's a regular visitor to the property, then there are no guidelines. That doesn't make me feel any better at all! I chose FDC over child care, because I thought he'd do better with a one on one environment and the he'd get the same person each time he went. But, now I feel like I've got no way of protecting him. Will have to have a long think and a big discussion with DH over the weekend.
Would depend on your state regulations (and also scheme policies)
Ours states that only regular visitors or people who live or stay at the house have to undergo police checks. My 16yo had to sign a Working with Children declaration as well.
Visitors should sign in and out on a visitor sheet which must be visible to all parents daily.
Manners would have been to introduce you to this person, who obviously visits on occasions.
celsie, hope it all works out.. choosing childcare is not easy....
let's see what the lady says abt the man.
is the fdc head office part of the franchise or the government body?
Ok...maybe i'm being a little out of line and I hope I don't offend anyone.
But... Like i said before Maybe she thought you'd met before. Maybe it was just a slip of the mind....
Yes you have EVERY single right to be worried about your childs safety.
However if you are concerned and are worried about it...i would simply ask who it was. How do you know it wasn't just that, an uncle, did you check the visitors book to see if yes they signed in or out??? Was the carer with the guy...he wasn't left alone with the kids???
I don't feel that you can judge what a carer is like based off this one experience, especially if you haven't clarified any of the details yourself.
My FDC mum has her parents there on occasion and also her grown up kids. While they get more one on one attention in FDC i believe it is also good to expose them to other people/visitors.
I just think that until you have ALL the details (eg you ask and find out who it is) you shouldn't make any huge decisions that could later have an impact upon your son.
PS. Like i said in the begining...this is my opinion and if offend anyone i'm sorry.
No offence taken Jennjorja... its just like an evaluated risk, you need to be comfortable with it in order to it. And some are and some aren't and thats ok. I don't think removing a child from FDC is going to have any life long affects or every child who didn't do FDC would be suffering.
BUT I do agree you should address this with your carer before making any decisions. However if you feel that regardless of what your carer will explain to you, you will still not be comfortable then that is ok too. Some people just don't like the idea of alternative care and thats ok.
My FDC lady will not allow any visitors to the house when she's got kids. The exceptions to this is if they have relatives visiting from interstate which has happened a few times, but she always introduces them and always tells me at least a few days before they arrive that they are coming.
Our carer and her husband are in their late 60's or early 70's at least and the lady is the qualified carer. While the husband is home, he doesn't look after the kids, or even hold them, with the exception of their grandson who is 2 and is one of the kids they look after.
Occasionally their youngest daughter (who is probably in her late 20's early 30's) lives at the house but she is rarely home when the kids are there as she works. Everyone who lives in the house has been police checked and any time they have visitors staying from interstate they always notify the head office.
In your case, I think you have every right to know who the person was and how often they visit. I'm just not sure how you would word it to ask.
I agree it's odd that she didn't introduce you to the man. Don't feel paranoid. Maybe instead of asking directly "who was that man in your kitchen last week?" maybe ask in a broader context; "I was wondering what the FDC policey is about other visiting adults in your home during hours of care?" And if she doesn't know then add that you'd personally feel more comfortable knowing what other people were around your child while he was using her FDC service.
I feel that whether children are being cared for in a centre or in FDC they are all entitled to a basic standard of care and this includes what adults they are exposed to. I don't want to worry you any more than you already are but just because it's a family home doesn't make it safe. Statistically that's where children are most likely to be hurt.... in a family home.
I sympathsise with your own childhood experience of abuse and encourage you to follow your instincts.
Just thought I'd give you an update. I had DS booked into care today for three hours the afternoon. I'd mentioned it quite a few times in the morning before he had his nap, because I feel it's better for him to have some sort of warning that he'll be going.
When DS woke up, I gave him lunch and said, "Okay, it's time to go to day care"... and he lost it. I'm not sure why, but it took ages for me to get him settled down. I sent the lady a text and explained that he wasn't coping and that I'd keep him home with me today. I also said that we were expecting the baby to arrive by the weekend, and DH is having six weeks off, so I'd let her know if he'd be coming back during that time, once we see how he handles having a sibling in the house. She text back that it was fine, and that she hoped that there was no issue with the level of care.
I don't have an issue with her level of care at all. As far as I can tell, as a person, she seems very lovely, genuine and caring. I haven't decided to pull him out completely, I'm just going to give it a break for now and have a think about it over the next couple weeks.
Thank you all for your comments and suggestions, I really appreciate your replies.
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