Is this allowed in Family Day Care?

[mrsmac]

My FDC lady recently had family stay as her MIL was dying, they were in the house but totally seperate to where the kids were. Apart from that i trust my carer implicitly and have known her and her family for years so it doesn't bother me that her teenage kids are often home (I taught 2 of them anyway!) and that her father is sometimes over, to me that is part of the joy of FDC- the normality of being in a Family not an institution.
I guess since you don't know your carer you should ask her straight out and express your concerns to her first before you go higher up.
IMO the working with children checks mean nothing, I have heard of too many situations where people in positions of trust have still abused children, most abusers are not who you think they are going to be- often they are happily married or have their own kids and good jobs etc.

[Rouge]

Given what happened here in Vic where the older son (19) was molesting the children, I would not be comfortable with this and I would bring it up no matter how uncomfortable it would seem.

[BrightSparkles]

i would just ask. If the carer is worth anything she'll happily tell you who it is.
Chances are everything is fine... maybe she thought you'd met at some other stage???

[SamiH]

I would not be comfortable with this and I would bring it up no matter how uncomfortable it would seem.

I am not trying to guilt you by any means hun - but I wouldn't have left without asking who he was and what he was doing there - you are paying her for a service, you are the client.

It may be a bit awkward but if you ask upfront, it will leave the door for the future - otherwise you are defeating the purpose of having your DS in FDC by worrying about him

[visitor1]

My FDC leader told me that the carers must tell you verbally or in writing if anyone else is going to be in the home. I also have to sign off to say i am aware of others being there too.

Id be very uncomfortable if my children were around people not normally in the home and more so if i wasnt told/introduced to them.

[Lulu]

I'd still want to see a blue card or whatever it is.....

[briggsy's girl]

I'd still want to see a blue card or whatever it is.....

playing devil's advocate here - but that is only good for reporting things the person has been caught for. kinda pointless really - the police check means nothing - particularly in situations like the one Niliac mentioned - he was 19, he may have offended previously, but probably didn't have a record. those cards ONLY show whether they passed a check of their record in regard to sexual and physical abuse cases they've been convicted of...

you need to be confident that your carer has your childs best interests at heart, that the child is never left unsupervised with anyone else etc.

[StrawberryMumma]

Hi Celsie

That wouldn't sit right with me either. I'd be politely asking some questions too

(BTW..Good luck for the birth!!!! Can't wait to hear all about your new bundle and it's journey into the world x).

[blizz]

I have just started working in FDC and we definatley have to have safety screenings for any regular visitors and all family members over the age of 18 yrs.
I would definately be checking up on that if I were you.

[Indadhanu]

I'd definately follow your gut and ask. Like you said, this is someone who is essentially with your son (at least in the same house) so you really do have a right to know IMO.

Well, thats how I'd feel if it were me.

It might feel a bit intrusive asking "so who was that here when I picked up DS" but, well, your number one priority is your DS, and if looking after him means asking questions about the person who is looking after him 2 days a week then thats what it means.

[Celsie]

I just want to point out that this lady has given me no reason to doubt her ability as a FDC provider. She seems genuine and lovely. Her house is spotless and she's had 15 years experience.

I spoke to DH about it. He said it's her home also and that she's probaly allowed to have visitors, but to call FDC and ask anyway.

I guess why I didn't say anything is because we've only been going there less than a month and I don't want to seem untrusting. But, I know I can take a chance with my DS's safety, just because I don't want to hurt her feelings.

It's been a big decision for me to send him there and now I'm worried that it's the wrong decision anyway. I spoke with my Mum this afternoon and she seemed to think I was over-reacting and kept telling me how good it is for him to be away from me (even though I sit at home a pine for him when he's there).

I'm going to call FDC head office tomorrow, so I'll let you know what they say. I wanted to thank you all for your replies and support. I was worried that I was just going to be called a paranoid mother.

[briggsy's girl]

he's your child - you're going to stress when he's not with you - esp if you essentially have nothing else you "have" to do without him!

make your call - find out what you need to find out. you're not paranoid - you're a normal mum wanting what is ultimately best for her child!