As a child care worker, from my point of view, some kids act differently with their parents then they do with the carers, I have one who very very rarely chucks a tanty with me, but with Mum, they are full on, could be anything from taking shoes off or wanting them back on again. Mum can't get her to budge, she will sit straight down and do what I ask

They may be over the top and I can only imagine how frustrating it is for you to hear the same thing over and over again, when you are seeing the other side of your child. It must be great to hear that your child can and does behave when with others. maybe the staff have a difficult day with other children and your son is such a pleasure to have compared to the others.