DD hates school

[Mum2SweetCs]

Hi All

DD goes to childcare once a week. She goes purely because i wanted her to have interaction with other kids.

She has been to two schools previously but never seemed happy there =( it really breaks my heart.

Her current school she doesnt cry when i drop her off and pick her up at least but she doesnt seem have any friends at all! She has been to this school for nearly a year now.

She is always alone and there has been 2 incidences where a boy has hit her in the face =(

The latest one she said the boy didnt even say sorry to her so I am going to ring the childcare to see what happend there.

I always ask her does she likes school and she says no but she is a smart cookie because she is considerate and doesnt want to hurt my feelings so she doesnt cry when she gets dropped off.

Breaks my heart. Do you think i am damaging her and will cause an adverse affect and make her hate school even more? She is 3 and a half.

Any advice appreciated.

thanks

[KimB]

This is a hard one. If she really doesn't want to go then I wouldn't be forcing her. Especially not to a place where she is being physically assaulted by another child. Ask her what sort of place she would like to go to (if at all) Maybe instead of a big childcare centre she would flourish in family day care. They only have 5 kids in their care and usually it is varying ages. My older kids loved going to FDC before they progressed to preschool. If she still doesn't want to go then it is not the end of the world and she just may need more time at home with mum before she is ready.

hun

[Mum2SweetCs]

Thanks Kim,

I work full time and mum looks after DD 4 days a week so although she can look after her 5 days I wanted to give mum one day break.

I have enrolled her in preschool at a primary school for next year for 2 days a week.

I was so adamant to send her to childcare for the socialising aspect and now it seems im going to eat my own words =(

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

You can socialise at playgroups and in parks - and avoid the negative aspects of childcare. Both you and your mum can do this if your mum is OK with social stuff (I know my MiL really isn't so she doesn't take DS to parks when she has him). I changed childcare for DS when he didn't want to go any more: couldn't drop out as I have to work and MiL really can't have DS full-time. If she doesn't like it, I would not be forcing it.

[Mum2SweetCs]

DD socialises alot with adults because mum always takes her out. She is definitely not shy when she is with adults but she is so shy and reserved when it comes to school.

She socalises with other kids her age which we have known since they are babies nearly every two weeks but I am not sure why she cannot make friends on her own?

Is this normal?

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

For a 3.5yr old? Yes, very normal. Most pre-schoolers are still figuring out other children aren't extentions of themselves and will do whatever they're told. While children interact, it isn't always friendly at that age. DS can "make friends" at a park, not even want to know the child's name, and never think of that child again after we leave the park, and he is highly sociable and has a good memory. And a year older than your DD.

Even after two weeks of school, he still only really plays with the one child he knew before they started school.