hun at the end of the day you do what is right for you
FWIW my twins were never left with anyone - not for one sec besides my DH and I until their first day of kinder
they were fine!
but age 3 they were ready to be left- they understood it all and there were no tears
they are very clingy kids and tell me how much they miss me everyday after school but they understand that they need to go to school and they feel safe and secure at school so it is fine
i really dont think that you need to get kids used to being left in time for school- the best thing to get them ready is TIME and them growing into that stage
its all up to you- if you want to continue to do this then go for it- but if the price of you both being not happy is not worth it- then i would wait for a bit and maybe try it when he is a bit older
hugs hun and just do what is right for you!!!!
I left my son when I went back to work - but didn't want to! He was fine with it at the second nursery I tried, and was soon telling me to go.
He now races me to Nursery and loves it. If he didn't, I wouldn't be working. Before I went to work, he wouldn't be left with anyone, anywhere. And I was fine with that - I'm his Mummy, let me mummy him! A few months later he would play with friends for a little while without me, but only about half an hour. He now, age 4, wants to go to Sunday School without me. But I never make him go anywhere until he's ready: when I returned to work, I had a late start booked at first so I could settle DS before going to work. Even now, I have turned up to work a little late because DS was clingy - but I either had early starts so made up the hours later, or I didn't need to be in first thing those mornings. Necessary early starts means DS gets breakfast at Nursery for an instant settler!
The point of these ramblings is that if your son is settled there and happy(ish), do persevere. But if your instincts are saying "not yet" then don't push it until you are ready - I didn't push Liebs with stuff unless I had to go to work, and even then make sure that he comes first.
I'm going to keep going for now. But if things don't change in the next few weeks we'll stop for a bit.
DD2 started at 2.5 & was fine with DC for a long time. Then about 6 months before she started school she would do similar. Latch on & tell me she didn't want to go.
After a few weeks I stopped her, because she was hating it. The second she found out what day it was she'd cry. But she hasn't wanted to miss a single day of school... no matter how sick!
He's still talking about going back to feed the chookens, etc.
She did apoligise for just taking him. She just wanted me to see that he would be ok if we did it that way.
I'm the type of mum that tells them everything. We haven't stopped talking about it, because I want him to know its happening again, & that again, I will come pick him up.
Not to jump to conclusions.... But if it is, do you think there could be a carer there they don't like?
Reason I say is my boys went to a DC/preschool and LOVED it. Every day was "Is it a preschool day?" We use to spend heaps of time there just because they liked it so much. Then we moved away, 1 started big school & The younger started at the little mobile preschool close to home. But then as big school approached for him I started taking him back down the the original place as they had a proper "pre" school programme in place. He HATED it. He was good to start with but by a month or so into it it was a fight to get him out of the car to go in.
When I asked him why he didn't want to go, It was the new director he didn't like. All the other carers where the same as before. But the original owner had come back & taken an active role in the centre & it was her that he didn't like. She was over bearing, in his face "grandma, pinch your cheeks" over the top. So I stopped taking him there. We returned to the mobile preschool where funny enough the director was the old director of the original preschool. He was happy, enjoyed his last term before big school & that was that.
So I just wonder, seems your DD got weird in the last 6 months of her stay there, Maybe there is "new" person there that's just too in their face & they don't like?
DS is a big mummy's and daddy's boy. Last year at 2 1/2 he started daycare 1 day a week in preparation for school and to give me a "day off" He hated it. Cried the night before and that morning, was fine there , and would cry when I picked him up. So after 4 months I gave up.
He has just started school and has amazed me. Runs in, says "Bye mum" and off he goes. Loves it.
HTH
FJ - DD2 went to 2 different ones. I'm pretty sure her oppinion of it all changed around the same time she got really sick with tonsillitis & glandular fever.
She had about 2 weeks off to recover & never really wanted to go back again.
DS does go to the same one. I actually thought it'd be better going to the one she went to, since he'd been there & played already.
They are talking about opening one up here at the school of some sort, so I'm supporting that 100%! I really think going to the girls school will make all the difference.
Lets just hope it happens!
From a carer's perspective, do you think your DS thinks that you are going off shopping and having fun without him, ie, he is missing out on something, I remind my kids here that mums/dads are either off to work or off doing jobs and as soon as they are finished they will be back.
Maybe a photo book, showing you doing something mundane like making beds, eating morning tea, cleaning the floor, which matches up with something that DS will be doing at the same time, playing in sandpit, eating morning tea, puzzles, storytime, blocks, etc that the carers at pre-school can show him, or a time line type of pictures; playing inside, outside, morning tea, craft, playing, lunch, rest time then mum comes for pick up, just so he knows what happens next, may make him feel more secure.
For some children it does take 6-8 weeks to settle in, I have a little girl here this is week 6, came in this morning with smiles instead of tears, Mum actually cried (happy tears) on her way to work because her DD was happy to stay. As long as your carers are supporting your DS and will phone you to collect if he is distressed, I would leave him a few more weeks just to see if he will settle. If not, maybe take him out for now and start him in another 6 months time.
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