Dianna, there are a few options here. It could be just that he needs longer to settle in to a new arrangement. Does he usually cope with change well? Does he take a while to adapt to new things? It could just be this. However, given that he doesn't seem to settle at all during the day, it sounds like it is more likely that this arrangement isn't going to work. That leaves you with some choices - in terms of keeping him in care your options are really to stick with FDC but try a different carer, try a day care centre (maybe the setting and extra kids would help), or try a nanny.

Otherwise if you are not working, or can stop working for a while, you could remove him from care. Then try doing lots of playgroups and social activities, and after a while try leaving him at a friend's place for a play date without you etc, gradually getting him used to being around other adults, other kids and then away from you. Then maybe he will settle into a care arrangement more easily.

What you need to do now, is try to decide what is going on, given what you know about your DS and your own situation. Then decide what the best thing to do about it is. I don't think you can let the situation go on as it is. I wish you the very best of luck with it and I hope you find something that works for you and your DS.