hun it must be soooo hard seeing him getting so upset
i like Fionas suggestion, may be worth looking into!!
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Can I just ask is he going to school next year, and is he at a CCC, or a preschool???
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Matilda had a horrendous time at CC. She wouldn't eat or sleep the entire time she was there. She would cry for hours.... that is why we tried Montessori, because there is more "structure" but its free as well. She thrived there, except the occasional social play ground issues. At first, she was scared of going & did the same things Elijah does, she would cry as I was getting her dressed and sob on the way there. I found out 2 weeks into it that it was the bell they rang for the children to go to class or listen. The sound upset her so much, so the teachers started telling Matilda that they were going to ring the bell & she was fine from then on.
Both my girls have thrived in Family Day Care, and they would go to playgroup with the carer to get socialisation and they both loved it.
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Oh you poor thing, nothing hurts more than your upset little one.
It might just be the place. Not that there is anything wrong with it, it may just be the place for him.....
When I was little I hated my first pre school, I cried and cried and cried until the teachers would call my mum to come and get me. I just hated it, I don't know why.
My mum changed my preschool, and I was fine at the next place.
Silly, no reason to it, it was just one of those things.
Maybe you could send him for a trial day to a different place to see how he goes?
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Kelly I have vivid recollections of being a 3 year old and not coping with the Kinder I was at the time. It was a large centre with a big open playroom and I was overwhelmed by all the noise and all the children, I could not compete for toys either, there were lots of carers but I just didn't bond with any of them. In the end my mother found another centre (I think it was church run) which was quieter, had more space and the play things were spread out differently. I remember loving going there and there was a lady with long curly hair who sang songs with us everyday and it was just right for me.
I really think your DS's distress is a sign that this centre is not right for him. It might be fine for all the other kids but just not a good 'fit' for his personality, kwim? Checking out FDC is a great idea (my kids have always been in FDC so I'm a big fan), but also shop around for other centres, and go with your instinct.
You will know you have found the right place when you feel that calm empathy oozing from the carer towards your child.
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Thanks everyone, your posts are helping sooooo much. As you know I am so pro-gentle parenting but sometimes things play in your mind when people think that you are being too soft on them. I'll look into other options, this can't be right or healthy for him.
Its occasional care, he doesn't do kinder anymore as 2.5 hours at a time is too hard for me to manage working fulltime. He will be doing care again next year, then school. Thanks guys *huge hugs*
Kelly xx
Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
♥ BellyBelly's Creator ♥
I just rang the council and they have nothing for family day care
Kelly xx
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Kelly - do you know anyone who has their child in FDC? If you do, perhaps you could speak to the FDC provider and explain your situation and see if they are able to help you out? Or if they're not able to help, maybe they know someone who could.
I don't think you're being soft at all. How can we help our children thrive in life if we ignore them when they're at their most vulnerable?
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Very good advice Celsie. Often places fill by word-of-mouth instead of through the office. Ask around and keep asking. The carer that DD2 is with now was 'not taking any more children'...that is until she met my DD (who she now adores) and decided that she could squeeze one more into her week LOL.
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Kel
Is Elijah picking up on what is going on at home? Could that be part of the problem?
Just an "out there" thought, could he travel in with Neddy, either Ned comes to your place in the moring or Elijah go to Div's place? Make it a little less traumatic????
He is such a sweetheart, sending the three of you hugs.
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Since he has a year left of care before school, I would reccomend a preschool type setting for next year.
They will have simiular routines to school, that wont include a rest time, and classes are generally smaller. He will be slightly more structured, and the kids will all be his own age.
He definatly isn't happy where he is, and it must be so heartbreaking for you babe....
Maybe start a dialogue now, of "big preschool" next year, where he wont have to nap, and see if he gets excited.... If the change makes him happy, then he needs to be outta the CCC....
Sometimes large centres with all ages and no set "work"eg, letters, numbers, colours etc just aren't what our little ones want....
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