Vent about overheard comment

[Saffi]

Megs - good on you for creating a love of books and reading with your daughters. My DS is always looking at his books, asking me to read to him, and even when he gets up in the morning he will sit by his bookcase and rifle through his books before he comes out.

Hope you're aiming for your daughter to be the first to make it to 50!

[Curly]

FWIW I knew exactly what you meant when I read the first post and could "hear" the tone in which it was meant. I agree. I also place a very high priority on the enjoyment of books and find it incredibly sad when I meet people who just don't read.

Unfortunately my kids play on it because they know that Mummy never says no when they want a book read to them. My DD can have a story read to her up to 12 times a day, every day, and it drives me mad but DS had the same thing and when I can see how he can now recite books off by heart to himself just for the sheer enjoyment of it, it's worth it.

[*LittleMissSummer*]

I think people are reading too much into the OP she was just stating that this particular lady was talking as if "pfft why would i read to my child" not in those words but with that attitude. I say good on any parent whos child can read that many books. Yes it can be hard to keep up with each kid, but my mum had 4 kids and when i was in kindy she had a baby but she was able to help be with my reading every night and i ended up being the best reader in my class. Now im not saying thats it that easy for every family as we dont know their lives.

Trouble with reading whats typed is you cant really tell the context something is being said in. Some people read it and get offended others don't.

But i think its a fair post to make. This lady sounded like she couldn't be bothered but in the end it will be her kid who will suffer.

[Phteven]

Unfortunately my kids play on it because they know that Mummy never says no when they want a book read to them. My DD can have a story read to her up to 12 times a day, every day, and it drives me mad but DS had the same thing and when I can see how he can now recite books off by heart to himself just for the sheer enjoyment of it, it's worth it.

I feel your pain. I have a policy that if they ask for a book I read it and they turn up with a book at the most annoying moments.
The pay-off is that Yasin can 'read' the books to Imran now.

[Smoke Jaguar]

I think it's about what different families prioritise. I read to DS as a baby and only because he had no choice! When he was big enough to choose to pay attention he chose to pay it elsewhere...quite disheartening as an English Major!
On the other hand, I prioritise swimming lessons in babies as young as 3 months and for me there is no option, it is just what I have to do for my own peace of mind and to optimise cerebral and physiological development. Many others do not and I don't get it.
The difference is that whilst I openly do not understand not prioritising swimming and water skills in babies and children (because I can see direct links between swimming and other skills my boy has), I don't scorn those who don't. What I think of their choice doesn't matter anyway, it won't change anything. Same if I hear someone make a comment about something I'm doing - none of my business what people say about me behind my back
And I find I can also be great friends with mummies who choose to prioritise other activities over swimming, and they can get over the fact that I don't prioritise reading (anymore!)
One good friend does lots of reading and indoor leggo-type play and her boy needs to do catch-up movement classes because she prioritised cerebral workouts over physical ones. I am finding that by giving DS plenty of physical outlets, it is helping the intellectual building blocks and he has great aptitude for non-physical things, increasingly. Learning awareness of his body and the space he occupies actually enhances how he thinks.
This other parent probably felt a moment of doubt about how they've approached the reading thing and chose to criticise rather than sit back and evaluate the merits of difference in parental priorities

[CrazyLady]

seriously it is not that hard to listen to a child read for 2 minutes. I remember being that age and throwing a tantrum because I found the books too easy.

How awful those mothers don't encourage their kids either

[Arcadia]

I am wondering if the real issue here is not the reading, but the rewards system. It doesn't sound like it has helped everyone embrace the joy of reading. It also sounds like the other mum is competitive and can't believe someone got to 25 so quickly.

If it were my child I wouldn't be pushing the nightly reading... And I am a librarian!! The joy of stories can be fostered without a routine or regime of reading.

[widdly]

I totally agree with Mayaness post, wonderfully written.

[mrsmac]

In her defence she may have been having a bad day and she may have a number of children and the one in your DDs grade is the youngest- you do get a bit "over" readers by then. Often we mothers of older kids make flippant remarks which can be misconstrued by those who don't have older children so maybe she was being flippant.

BTW reading to your child is different from home readers- they are largely incredibly dull and uninspiring! (and I am a teacher)

[nicjay]

Mrsmac, you are so right LOL but DD1 gets a kick out of reading it by herself. Maybe the reward system is a bit OTT, but it appeals to DD's competitive nature I guess too that she already appreciates the joy of reading, so it really isn't necessary for her except for the school recognition. Like I said, we don't force it on her - if she is tired or doesn't want to do it thats no biggie. But there's no way she will not let me do it tonight LOL I asked!

[AnyDream]

Marydean, I thought I was being specific when I mentioned parents who can't be bothered. I never said anything critical about parents whose family circumstances don't permit them to do it for whatever reason. Sorry you read it that way.

My point is - you can not possibly *know* with any certainty just by overhearing a conversation that the speaker could not 'be bothered' or whether there were other issues in her life that made it difficult.

I believe the term 'keyhole judging' could be applied here. Particularly given the leap you made from a daily reading task to quality of parenting. Your original thread title included the words "idiot parents", and in the edit you have retained "crappy parents" and "morons" and sorry but I don't think that level of derision is warranted based on a fragment of a conversation.

[nicjay]

OK Marydean, that's your opinion and you're entitled to it. Knowing that you didn't hear the conversation I am entitled to disagree with you. Sorry, but I won't argue the point any further with you.

And BTW I did not edit the title of my post, it was done for me I'm assuming by a mod.

[tan32]

My 6 yr old Ds brings home a reader every day from school, it is i thought expected of them to read it each night, or at least part of it. He reads to me every night. My eldest DD 11 yrs old now reads her books by herself as she is a confident reader..
and DS 2 brings us his little books to sit and read to him after his big brother has read..

Sometimes he reads to me and i sit with him, other times he sits and reads to me while i prepare dinner or wash dishes etc.

and may i add my kids do extra activities too , like soccer, swimming and dancing... It is hard.......but it is my choice and i want my children to read, having a father who cannot read or write I watched my Mum teach him as an adult. I want to try and help my kids as much as possible.

Good on her for liking to read, and some parents can't help but moan about something

[Epacris]

I just wanted to throw my DH's story into the mix, he went to an airy-fairy-arty-farty Steiner school and didn't learn to read or write at all until he was 12 yes 12. He was way too busy playing in the dirt and doing that funny dancing that they do. He was read to as a child and he did do the most beautiful and colourful drawings. And he went on to do very well in the HSC and at uni and reads all the time now (actually, a little too much, not enough help with the housework for my liking ).

Meh, everyone's different, and it's impossible to get a good idea of the full story from a tiny snippet of information. I'm sure most of DH's family thought my PIL were mad but DH turned out alright in the end (IMHO of course ).

[Smoke Jaguar]

I was thinking about this a bit and decided that I was confused. What is the OP about? Is it dismay that someone misjudged your approach to the reading program? Or do you judge those who do not encourage a reader a night?
I suspect that whatever the main point was, it was confounded by the bite-back judgment and now everyone's got their backs up.
Yes, it was unfair of this other mother to be so judgmental of how much your DD reads. Nuff said. Good on your DD for being so interested
No need to take someone down to build yourself up

[Inanna]

Aaaah the "arty farty school" Epacris!!!! My kids go to one of these!!! They discourage awards and rewards and it's personal best that's important...

My oldest DD has gone to "mainstream" schools and like other Mamas I read to her from birth... She loves books and I spent hours doing home readers. It was easy with just one child and only her extra curricular activities to navigate.

DS loves books too and like his sister before him I read tirelessly - a night time story happened every night. Now he reads on his own & he can't stand the home readers he has sent home as they are "too easy" for my little Professor! So, I negotiated with his teacher that he reads but his books. Sometimes he reads them to me as we lay down on the bed or sometimes I even read them to him - he's a bit blanket is my boy so I try to give him the expressive content (I am an animated and ferocious expresser in reading! )

My DD7 was read to also and loves to read - she is now happier to read on her own also and is currently reading the wishing chair. Sometimes she reads out loud to me whilst I cook, bake, chop, fold... Othertimes she reads alone rushing in to tell me of "Fanny's" latest experience in the Faraway Tree! Home readers are sadly neglected often with her and her younger sister... I feel guilty especially reading this thread. It's just so hard to hear two people read every night now that DD6 has home readers also...

However, they are exposed to reading everywhere we go... We reald out the street signs, the list of ingredients in the supermarket, the bank, the chemist... We do lots of that.

I think it's bloody hard being a parent - when you are a lone parent it's even harder. Perhaps the person who made the comment was (I highly suspect) just responding from a place of guilt (almost always not warranted)... But nobody is a crappy parent because they don't read. We all have different priorities. My friend rarely reads to her kids but they play all types of musical instruments. I cook bake, create... Someone else does another...

I think you felt insulted and I get why Megsmum... We all respond in ways that could be better at times. I just think the amount or not of readers a child reads doesn't equate to the quality of the parent. Perhaps the values, time restraints etc more than anything else...