WDYT - FDC lady has baby same age as mine?

[Roryrory]

Look my mum did FDC so I am a big advocate of it, but that said I would be reluctant to leave my child with someone who had a baby of the same age. That said, if I was looking after a GF's child just for the day I would probably go to her baby first IYKWIM?

[AnyDream]

That said, if I was looking after a GF's child just for the day I would probably go to her baby first IYKWIM?

Well I thought about that because that would be my inclination and it's certainly the case when we have visiting children staying with us - it's going that extra step because their parents aren't there. However we all know our own children have the capacity to exhaust us in a way that other ppl's children do not, and two children under the age of 12 mths is going to be a handful any way you look at it.

[paradise lost]

I'm not sure about Aus but here in the UK the FDC's children don't "count" so you could have 2 under 12 months if one was your own.

I think it depends on the person really. I know women who are quite capable of ignoring children however old or distressed they are, and a woman who is bringing up non-identical triplets ON HER OWN without ever having to ignore any of them. It just depends on her personality. I would FDC 2 under 12 months, but i am a confident and frequent baby-wearer so i wouldn't feel i was having to "go" to them. If one got upset i'd stick them in the wrap for a bit and if both got upset i'd stick one on each hip/one front, one back until they'd calmed down.

If you're not comfy with the idea then don't interview her, but if you're just concerned it might be worth talking to her about how SHE deals with it, and get a feel for her. My mum did FDC when i was a kid and had 4 of us at one time, me (26 mos), little girl#1 (16mos), little girl#2 (6mos) and baby girl (6 weeks). She'd had 3 boys in 3 years when she was younger and she coped fine with us all. She had constant "activities" on the go for us older 2, and kept the littly in a wrap most of the time. At nappy time she changed us all from smallest to biggest at the same time. There was a waiting list for her care as parents were always so impressed come hometime at their kids lined up, relatively clean, well-fed, and with a bunch of pasta pictures, finger paintings, autumn leaf collages etc. for the fridge.

Really, if people have twins and triplets it is obviously possible to care for more than one at the same time, you just need to do what YOU feel comfortable with as regards her care and your kid.

Bx

[Cricket]

I can see some advantages in having two the same age as well - same food, same games, same naps, same abilities, possibly?
I don't think you need to write her off because her baby is the same age - if this is a long term care situation, they might grow up to be good buddies.

And, Bec, your mum sounds like wonder woman! Wow!

[mollycat]

As a FDC carer, the "norm" is usually one child under twelve months, however it depends on the actual carer and what they can cope with. I had the care of twins from six months of age, and at the same time children about 15mths of age, obviously twins won't be separated. I feel the issue here is the other baby is her own (if it was a day care child your opinion could be different) I also have at the moment a 10mo and a 7mo who come on the same day occasionally. If both cry together, it's the matter of working out why? and fixing the problem, often one will set the other off, one is easier then the other to look after generally. The younger will put self to sleep, the older needs to be rocked, cuddled, wrapped and patted. I just do what I need to do. If I hadn't m/c, my baby would have been born about the same time as one of my clients baby. (we were 3 weeks apart). Her baby would have started care at 6mo and she was quite happy to have mine with hers. Her son is now 2y9m (he started with me at 9m) I guess this is an individual/personal decision and you need to do what is right for you. If you're not happy ring your scheme, explain why and ask for another name(carer) to visit. Sorry if this upsets you in any way, i'm just explaining what I feel. Good Luck with whatever decision you make and I hope you find a really special carer.

[*Efjay*]

I think its a very valid concernt hat your child may miss out because the carer has her own bub of the same age. I guess I would be interestedt o see if there is no other FDC available then it would be a matter of see ing how it goes & if you feel your bub is happy in her care?

But I would have the same worry that her bub will get tended to over yours. But then I would have the same concerns if it was my 3 yr old & her 7 month old. I would still worry that her baby is getting more attention then everyone else.