I call or at least have to text the Man. Well, when I am in a real poo mood, I'm just having a guess that in a crises it could be the same.
Regardless, I think it does help to hear "it will be okay", no matter who from. Even yourself. You just need that bit of reassurance, sometimes just to keep it together. And it is important to have *someone* that you can call, even if it is just for over the phone, moral support.
I think when its the first time something happens i freak - well depending on what it is.
DJ cutting his finger open on a bottle top i was like "meh" not like i could do much, first time he had a fit i screamed like banchee. the second time, dispite it being worse, i was clam and collected. DH the same.
DH also tends to panic more then me.
I think counting to 10 and realiseing your the adult and have to make things happen helps. Like with DJ - now when he has fits, no matter how long i know i need his meds to stop/control plus keep and eye on the time for length. he has them now and people dont pick up on it.
As for something like that - i'd freak the first time, but if on my own I'd suck it up and go to the hospital, try and be as calm as humanally possable *then* freak out once every thing had been explained to the people who needed to know.
I'm a pretty calm person. I freak out less than DH, although he does have a cool head in a crisis.
For me, I focus on the practical. Not the things I can't control or don't know, but the logistics. I find that by focusing on the practical logistics of the situation my brain becomes busy with that and it gives me something to focus on.
When DS2 wasn't well at 10 weeks I suspected something was wrong and so made myself focus - what do I need to take to hospital, who will look after DS1 if I'm going to be a while, do I need the pram, where will be the best place to park, how will I get DH out of his meeting and up to meet me.
Turned out he had menningitis and I had done the right thing by taking him to the hospital. By focusing on the practical I made it happen that he got the care he needed and that's what was most important.
The first major thing we had happen was ds 2 seizing in hospital (newborn) and at home. All I did was cry and cry. I didn't know what to do. Dh was so calm
The second was ds 2 splitting his chin open. I remained calm. Rang dh at work and then while I waited for him I rang my mum. Now if I see lots of blood I'm like meh . Dd had 5 big blood incidents in 6 weeks. By the 3rd one I was calming others down. I knew it wasn't too serious.
But in saying that I don't know what I would do if there was a huge problem. I don't deal that well in a crisis. For example. Dd had a heart thing going on when she was 5 months. Long story but it ended with a shot of adrenaline and a ambulance ride to town. I honestly had no idea what was going on. It wasn't until we arrived at the hospital and I rang my mum that I started shaking and bawling. We came so close to losing her that day. It happened again 3 weeks later and while I was calm on the outside and doing everything I needed to do. I was shaking like a leaf.
Dh is my calm one and I always feel better if he is around to deal with any problems. I clean the blood. :/ he remains calm. He does what ever else needs doing.
When DD burnt her arm, I panicked majorly. I stripped her cardigan & dress straight off and ran her up to the shower and stood there sobbing with her under the cold water. I was screaming for DH to come in as he was outside. DS was watching me saying helpful things like "mum you pants getting wet" lol. I managed to calm down enough to ask DS to go find DH. DH called 000 and it wasn't until the ambos arrived that I eventually calmed down. DD stopped screaming too once I'd calmed down. I did what was needed re first aid, but I was hysterical at the same time.
When DS split his chin open I was useless. DH was there that time too.
I was better when DS stuck some cereal up his nose. DH wasn't home so I rang mum. She didn't know what to do but suggested the health line. By the time I got through to someone, it had softened enough to pull out with tweezers. I was pretty calm that time. I think the difference was DH not being home, I knew I was it and had to deal with it.
As others have said, I focus on the practical, constructive things I can do to improve the situation. I am an a m b o and I also find that the easiest way to calm a panicked parent (apart from simple reassurance when appropriate!) is to have them focus on a task - stroking a forehead, cuddling and comforting, writing down the child's personal details. Something to refocus. Obviously, at work we have the benefit of providing definitive treatment for an ill or injured child whether it is skill based, drugs or transport. Sometimes (often!) is is simply a matter of reassuring parent's that their child is ok. Obviously, there are times when the outcome is not good and then all I can do is offer some sort of comfort and put in place the next practical steps.
I find I don't tend to panic much with my own kids as I immediately switch into 'professional mode'. It is like there is a seperate part of my brain to deal with emergencies. I am able to recognise when my children are ill that their illnesses are not life threatening and fortunately, none of them have ever suffered serious, life threatening injuries.
I find it much more difficult to cope with the long term worry of my son's renal condition than with a short term crisis.
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. Dd had 5 big blood incidents in 6 weeks. By the 3rd one I was calming others down. I knew it wasn't too serious.
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