Suggestions for helping my 7 year old to deal with his grandad's passing

[CrystalBoo]

I haven't been in this situation but to me it sounds like you are doing all the right things. The school counsellor idea is a great one - hope it really helps. Can you ask him/her to give you some pointers, leaflets etc., as well?
If you google the phrase 'helping kids deal with grief', a lot of websites come up that might have helpful tips.
Hope some time makes it easier for your whole family.

[mrsmac]

Its a tricky one because you are grieving as well and there are so many emotions in the house.
My mum died when DD1 was 10, she was very very close to mum and was really upset by her death. We made a book together of photos of her and mum, we chose a star which we said was Grandma and went and said goodnight to her at night.
Hopefully the school counsellor is a good one, usually in NSW public schools cousellors are there for academic testing/remedial/behavioural problems etc not as much for this kind of couselling and sadly as a teacher I have met many many of them who would not be much help IYKWIM?
I would try not to let him get away with not doing work etc, grief is real but sadly children sometimes know how to work it to their advantage sometimes, I know DD did on occasion.
Lastly hugs to you, its a very hard time and you need to look after yourself too.

[christy]

I think the counsellor at school is a fantastic plan of action. They will have a good idea on how to help children get through grief. Often having something like a photo or something is perfect to give them something to hold onto, also telling him how you have gone through the grief yourself.

I am not someone who has done counselling, but one who has been through death as a young girl and young adult. I found that when my family were most able to say "You know, I don't know... this sucks" was when I felt like it was more real and okay to feel that way as well. not an easy thing to go through, or to watch your child go through as well.

[mrsmac]

Good point Christy, I was very honest with Jess, I told her I was angry mum and died and that I felt it wasn't fair.

[kas]

Thanks ladies,
DS appears to be doing well. He has met with the school councillor (not that he has told me this, she called just to let me know she had spoken with him and she explained she wouldn't tell anyone what he said but he could tell people if he wanted to)

When my mum was away recently she found a kids book "when a grandparent dies, a guide to grief" and said to me to bring it out next time he has a moment. Well he hasn't, so i am not sure if i get it out for him and risk his emotions being dug up or let it be until and if he does have another moment.

Anyways, thanks for your feedback and advice.