Poor little love and poor you too!
At this age, his behaviour is pretty typical for many babies. However, I wonder what medical advice you have received. If his reflux is due to some underlying condition or being exaccerbated by his food, then thickening probably won't help I would guess Can you get onto a GP or Pead to look at changing his formula and/or medication?

I think your primary problem seems to be that you're not getting any help. Is there noone you can call on? Any friends or neighbours with kids who might be able to lend a hand? Perhaps you've met some other mums in your area through mother's group or playgroup or somethign like taht?