Can I help her to learn to self settle?

[Haydies]

DD is 3 months old on the 21st of this month (11 weeks today). She doesn't seem to be able to self settle at all, and DH has started commenting that it's because she's gotten used to sleeping with me (we co-sleep), and that it's somehow my fault. I know he doesn't meant it as it "it's all your fault", but his comments still do make me question myself.

During the day I put her in her cot for "bear" time - her mobile is 4 pink bears and she happily chats away to them. She can stay in there a fair while to - usual morning ritual is to change her nappy and then pop her in there while I hang out the washing, go to the loo, brush my hair etc.

But she never falls asleep in there. She plays till she's had enough, then cries.

At night time she sleeps wonderfully. We normally have a bath around 9pm (nights are always later than I'd like due to DH not getting home till after 7pm, then dinner etc) After her nightly bath she knows it's sleepy time because we'll crawl into bed together and she'll drift off. Usually that's it until 9am ish the next morning.

The problem is, I'm not always ready to go to bed at 9pm, but if I get back up after she's fallen asleep, when she stirs she wakes right up if I'm not there. If I'm there she'll just go straight back to sleep, not even wake fully.

So long as I am either beside her (or she's asleep on me), she sleeps fine. Is there anything I can do to help her fall asleep on her own, even if just at night times?

[Alan]

Hi Haydies
It sounds like she is missing her mum. Try this
Put a t-shirt/top that you have been wearing on a pillow then put this next to her. She will be able to smell her mum and know that you are close. Also make sure that the room is not too quiet. Haave a radio/CD playing softly.

[Haydies]

I haven't tried the radio/cd option yet - I might have to do that one.

I have tried the clothing thing though, didn't work. I've tried both putting the T Shirt I had on that day in her cot, as well as trying to put her to sleep in our bed, where the sheets, pillows and everything smell of me. I thought the bed might have worked because that's where she sleeps every night. But anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour is all I get before she stirs, and when she stirs and I'm not there - she wakes up fully.