I love co-sleeping but did not intend to do it. I think that it is good for babies to be in close proximity to their parents and independence can happen later. I have come to think that independence is an overprioritised aspect of a babies development.

Before being pregnant i thought babies should learn to be independent early and just thought i would do some sort of control crying etc like family had done. Then while pregnant DH and I discussed our developing views on our role as parents as realised we were more gentle/attachment style. We purchased a hugabub before a pram and use the sling much more as we like the physical closeness. We think that babies benefit from the emotional growth the physical closeness brings.

DD slept in the cot in the bedroom at the end of our bed at first. Then at 3 months she had heart surgery and became much more energetic and hungry (and me a wreck!). She started feeding more frequently and not going to sleep in the cot and being upset. I had already been using the hugabub for day sleeps and moving her in to the big bed meant I could respond to her needs at night without her becoming distressed. Breast feeding is easy and i never have to fully become wide awake and neither does she. When I leave her to fully wake up she will then stay awake for over an hour and play or get upset.

This morning she woke me gently by stroking my face with her hand while she was still asleep...magic.

When she starts sleeping for longer and we both seem ready (i do not know what that will mean so it is just a play it by ear thing) i will try putting her back in the cot in my room and then gradually make the transition to her own room. I do not see that happening until she is over 12 months. DH sleeps in DD's future room which means he gets a good sleep to go to work and deal with his stressful job. He does not get woken and that works for us.

I personally think that little ones need to closeness of their parents, but I know their are many different opinions. My DD was premmie and spent 6.5 weeks in hospital before coming home and that was pure torture. That has also had an impact on our parenting.

If we have a second i would not co-sleep with two in the bed. I would have encouraged DD to sleep on her own mattress and then gradually move that out to her own room and make it a big exciting move that she can take part in.

I just love going to bed and seeing my little one lying peacefully, hearing her breath and knowing that she can hear my breathing and feel me if she needs to. Like this morning.