Firstly, sound like you are doing an amazing job!

I haven't read the PP, so sorry if I am repeating anything. But, I just wanted to say - when it comes to parenting it is only a problem if it is a problem for you. It doesn't matter what you're family thinks. If you don't think patting her to sleep or giving her the dummy is a problem, then it isn't a problem. And, it's important to know that these sleep challenges are perfectly normal at this age. I still remember when DS 'woke up' at around 8 weeks and we had to start settling him.

What I'm trying to say is that if you are happy to leave the self-settling for the time being (which by the sounds of it you are) then you should. But in the meantime try and get hold of a copy of 'The no cry sleep solution'. I think it is by Elizabeth Pantley, but could be wrong. It will give you a wonderful understanding of how baby sleep works, what they need to get to sleep and how you can gently encourage them to self-settle.