I don't think it's that helpful to get caught up in definitions. I have heard that some people put their child to bed, lock them in, put padding around the door to muffle the screaming and don't open it again unil morning no matter what. I think most of us would agree that this is downright abusive. I have also heard people suggest that you carry, co-sleep and breastfeed 24 hours a day and never ever have even 1 second of crying. Sounds good, but most likely written by someone without children (or at least, without more than one child)! Where you fit in between the extremes is very much a personal decision where you have to take into accound your child, your family circumstances and your own level of reserves (emotional and physical). If something works for you and does not harm your child, then go ahead and do it. Plus remember that none of us is perfect, and what we do in theory seldom translates into practice. I don't usually like to leave kids to cry, however I have had occasional times when I had to put myself in Time Out for a couple of minutes. I left both children crying, because I was so upset and angry that I might have started screaming or hurting them if I hadn't stopped for a breather.