DD won't settle - at my wit' s end. Pls HELP!

**LuluHB** · February 5th, 2008, 04:50 PM

My DD has gone from being a beautiful sleeper to fighting sleep with all she's got. She has a pretty set bedtime routine and I used to be guaranteed that she would be in bed by 7.30 pm, 8pm at the very latest. Now if she's in bed by 11pm I'm thrilled.

It seems to have started since she worked out how to pull herself up in her cot. Now when I put her down, even if she's already asleep, she will wake and stand up in her cot screaming. If I try to lie her back down again to pat/stroke her she just screams louder and fights against me to stand up. If I pick her up and cuddle her back to sleep she stirs within a few minutes of being put back down and we start all over again with the screaming.

Any suggestions for how to get out of this habit would be so gratefully received.

**~Trish~** · February 6th, 2008, 05:29 AM

That sounds really tough on you. I think it is a developmental thing that babies go through. Unfortunately I don't have any real advise for you. My eldest DS did the same thing for a while, but we had a baby hammock so I just put him in that at night instead and he was happy. They do eventually grow out of it, but it is so exhausting for poor mum. Have you tried just sitting in the room with her? Would she settle if she knew you were sitting next to her? You could eventually move further and further away from her each night until you don't have to go in there any more.

Hopefully someone will come in soon with a helpful answer for you!!

**LuluHB** · February 6th, 2008, 10:43 AM

Thanks Trish. I never leave her (except when I get to THAT point when I know I have to step away for a minute to get a grip) and she still screams. She stands up at the cot railing and holds her little arms up to me screaming. It breaks my heart to see her getting so distressed.

**Snacks** · February 6th, 2008, 11:30 AM

Lulu, does your DD like being patted? When Natalie is unsettled I lie her on her side and she will respond really well to a good firm, rhythmic pat on the bottom. Sometimes it takes aaaaaages to get her to sleep that way, but it does eventually happen...
Hope you find something that works for you both soon.

**KymH** · February 6th, 2008, 08:22 PM

How old is DD? We have been and are kind of still going through same thing..... We had a reeeeally bad patch when DD was 91/2 - 101/2 months, but although there's not as much sleep fighting and screaming these days, we still have the standing issue.

I don't really have any solutions and just wanted to say hang in there - Like Trish said, I too think it is a developmental thing - but it must be so hard for you going into your 3rd trimester too.....

**MantaRay** · February 6th, 2008, 09:52 PM

I also don't have any good advice, but Jack went through the same thing starting at around 10 months. We tried everything without success. Most nights he slept in our bed, but none of us slept well as he tossed and turned all night. Then, all of a sudden, it just stopped. He started lying down and going straight to sleep. And a couple of weeks later he started sleeping through the night again. I think it must have been some kind of a phase. I know how hard it is for you so I am sending you big hugs.

**blue daisy** · February 7th, 2008, 05:59 AM

hey lulu

Finn started this at 10 months. Its a developmental stage, as they practice new tricks (such as standing), and sometimes in their sleep. It does pass, but it is frustrating, as the little ones get so distressed as they are tired and keep waking up in the standing or all 4's position and cant remember how to get down!

I used a grobag (sleeping bag) and it stopped the waking behaviour as it is harder to stand in the bag, and immediately improved sleep

hope this helps
x

**LuluHB** · February 8th, 2008, 06:19 PM

Natalie - Iz is in grobags too but unfortunately that doesn't slow the little monster down too much.

Thanks everyone. She's just 9 months so hopefully it is a stage and it will be over soon (very very soon!). MR - I have brought her into bed with me a few times and she thrashes around a lot too - usually after she's managed to snuggle up to me so I get good kicks and punches from her on the outside, and then the new baby kicking back from the inside. The joys of motherhood!!!

**sangie** · February 8th, 2008, 06:27 PM

Poor you Lulu getting double the kicks, you must feel like a punching bag!
I hope Iz settles down for you soon hun. Anyhow better she goes through this phase now before the next bub comes! Good luck!

**Mez80** · February 8th, 2008, 06:28 PM

I went through this a few months back and am sure it wont be the first time... after trying everything..what works for us is to sit in her room, just somewhere she can see us. First few days she cried a bit while looking at me but settled within 10 minutes. Sometimes (though not often thank goodness) she will be on all fours grinning at me at 10pm at night!! i just sit there till she gets tired n settles coz everything else made it a lot worse. Goodluck.

**LoveKnowsNoBounds** · February 9th, 2008, 05:47 PM

HI Lulu, I'm going through the same thing at the moment and I am at my wits end too. It is so hard to deal with ongoing crying and screaming. I think it is a combo of teething and being more active and being unable to settle down. I had to get away today for a few hours to clear my head and DH was in charge. I hope things improve for you soon.