Falling asleep on me

[Liz]

I know I've entered into discussions before about picking up the baby and rocking the baby to sleep etc. I started out on the side of not wanting to be wrapped around the baby's little finger, and was slowly convinced that the baby doesn't know any different but to cry, and it doesn't hurt to comfort etc etc.

But the old me is still niggling at me. Tallon has been very unsettled during his day sleeps.. kinda cries in his sleep, which results in him not being rested, and come late afternoon is a mess and will only sleep on me. I'm worried that this could be habit forming? He sleeps so well at night tho, straight to sleep after feeds, and in his own cot, no problems at all.

Can someone please tell me that comforting him like this in the late afternoon isn't going to ruin any good sleeping habits he already has? [-o< I'm also feeding him to sleep too, at pretty much every sleep. Is this a bad thing? or is it something that will change as he grows? Should I persevere with trying to put him down without that last topup?

The reason I ask is I'm starting to get comments, mostly from my mum, where she picks him up to settle him and of course he's instantly quiet, and she tells him he's spoilt This is exactly the view I've been trying to get myself away from, yet it's starting to come back to haunt me! heh.

Can someone RE-convince me that comforting my baby isn't a bad thing?

[Rouge]

Do you know any 21 y.o.'s that sleep on their mothers chest

Try not to worry sweetheart, do not beat yourself up you are loving your baby and parenting by heart the way nature intended. Enjoy the cuddles they are only small for a little while and one day you will look back and wonder where it all went!

You are doing a marvelous job, remember that!

*hugs*
Cailin

[BellyBelly]

Well said Cailin!

Can someone RE-convince me that comforting my baby isn't a bad thing?

How much convincing do you need that YOU need comfort as a human too? If in doubt, I put myself in my bubba's place. If you get the comments, something I use which is great for all sorts of things is, 'It's obviously still important to him, and I am happy to provide it.'

My two have co-slept and they are not wrapped around my finger spoilt brats. They are very independent and attachment styles of parenting have been associated with this, confidence and independence later in life.

[Liz]

Thanks guys. Just needed to hear it again I think

Co-sleeping - DH has brought him in with us a couple of times at night.. but I just can't sleep with him in the bed coz I wake to every noise, and wake worrying he's covered with the blanket or something. So co-sleeping isn't for me. It's nice having him there.. but I need my sleep! hehe. Plus he sleeps just fine usually during the night in his cot.

It's just through the day. It's hard tho, coz it means I cant get anything done. I've used the hugabub a couple of times.

Just got to ignore the comments I guess

[Colleen]

I get the "comments" too, gotta love all the professional opinions we get LOL

Do what feels right for you and what makes bub happy is what Ive gone with all along...

*i also fed jaykob to sleep* 8-[ but he did grow out of it in a sense and now he goes to sleep by himself.. (most of the time)

I co sleep with Jaykob and always told myself I wouldnt, It was reccomended to me by my midwife from birth and Ive never looked back, that said, its not for everyone...

Now that he grown a bit and is much more independent, I savour the cuddles and naptimes where he wants mum and only mum, Because one day they will be 21 and we'll wonder where our cuddles have gone

Enjoy your beautiful baby! Do what feels right!

[nellbe]

Definitely not spoiling him, enjoy this time and you'll find that he'll no longer do and you'll miss it!

I also got the 'you'll spoil him comments'! (usually from the older generation) But how can you spoil a newborn?

[Lucy]

I ALWAYS fed Olivia to sleep, from birth till about 6 months, then offered her a top of from a bottle from 6 months to about 18 months, and it hasn't been "habit forming".....she is still a tiny wee thing, and now at 2 and a half happily goes off for her day sleep and her night time sleep without any feeding.....so she and I both "grew out of it".

Charlie was also always fed to sleep on the boob, and I still offer a top up with a bottle before his day and night sleeps.......sometimes he wants it, other times he doesn't. It is a nice cuddly way for us to get in the mood for a snooze, and I see nothing wrong with that.......

[Ambah]

I also used to feed Aidyn to sleep a lot for about the first 6-8 months of his life... I figured if it works at getting him all relaxed, then why not?
He has been fine since then, and certainly grown out of it - there is NO way he would fall asleep with a bottle/cup of milk these days!

And as for cuddling baby to sleep, I dont think that is spoiling them at all. I think it helps them feel secure and loved, and can't see anything wrong with it.
I know my mum and sister dont agree with my way of gentle parenting, as mum, and now my sister just put their babies in the cot and left them to cry themslves to sleep.
Well I just cant do that. It stresses me out and makes me feel panicky and ill when Aidyn is upset. So cuddling him to sleep etc is just as good for me, as it is for him.
Plus I like to think that we have a really close and loving relationship now because of it... he is a very affectionate and sweet little boy, and will come and cuddle and snuggle with me and DP heaps... and its just lovely.

[Hayley]

Following your instincts is the best way to go. You cannot spoil a baby, especially by giving them positive attention! It's what more babies need, rather than being ignored. It makes them feel secure and confident little people.
My bubba is nearly 1 and I still feed him to sleep. It's easy, involves no crying and he settles quickly.
He also knows that day and night sleeps are different, so I wouldn't worry about it stuffing up his evening pattern.
Go, and trust your heart!

[~Jo~]

You are doing a fantastic job. I have fed the girls to sleep til they were 18 months and Sam falls asleep on the boob every day. Trust in yourself and your ability to comfort your baby.

Jo

[Lulu]

I am determined to spoil my baby. SO THERE mil!!!

[barbie-up]

Hi - when my Alex was three weeks old, my family were over and I put him down to bed and he didn't settle, so I got him up again and my mum told me off then - HE WAS THREE WEEKS OLD !!

I love the warm and fuzzy feeling you get when they fall asleep on you.

[~Jo~]

OMG Barb...im so glad you do anyway!

Jo

[sherrie]

Ivana they are only babies for such a short time, enjoy it while you can!

I always look at it from the babies perspective, for example, how would you feel if everytime you needed a cuddle or shoulder to cry on your husband just left you there and walked off or picked you up, chucked you in your bed to cry alone and walked out. You'd feel pretty bad wouldn't you? Imagine how a baby feels, this is all new to them and unlike you they are helpless to do anything about it other then give up and accept being alone!

[Liz]

Just like to update that it must have been an unsettled week for him, and I'm so glad that I just went with it and cuddled him when he needed it. Might have been part of the 6-8 week fussiness I was warned about! Anyway, it hasn't been habit forming at all, he is well and truly back to being cuddled or fed until sleepy and then falling asleep tucked into his cot

I'm now convinced it won't spoil him (had to see it to believe it I guess ) and I continue to cuddle him whenever he needs it, regardless of what my mum says! Mind you, she hasn't said it in a while, probably because she sees that it didn't 'spoil' him after that week of basically sitting around with a baby sleeping on me all the time!

Thanks everyone