Feedback please?

[Ezz]

Mayaness - I agree, it would be hard to put him to sleep when he is wide awake - but I always wait for his tired signs (yawning, sucking his fists, jerky limb movements).
When you wore your DS to sleep, did he wake up after a sleep cycle once you put him in the bassinette?

Bek - Thanks for the idea about a change in location! I'll give that a go if I can't resettle him today. Sounds like things are still pretty challenging at your place :hugs:

[Willow]

Ezz - I have occasionally come across some pretty useless advice on the helpline, but the nurse we've been seeing at the Tresillian centre here is wonderful, fully promotes gentle settling techniques and actually bags out some of her colleagues who are a bit old school and still promote cc because they're not supposed to anymore! She was actually talking to me about the need for them to mainstream their policies and practices etc so that there wasn't so much conflicting advice. All of the nurses at our day stay seemed to be very focused on the psychological impact on the babies (and the poor mums!) and promoted gentle settling. It's a shame not all of them are the same.

The other thing I wanted to add was that I was told that you probably won't see much of an improvement in his ability to move from one sleep cycle to the next (ie sleep longer than 45mins without resettling) till about the 12-14 week mark. Developmentally they are much more able to grasp the concept of resettling at this age. I have a friend with 4 babies (x2 twins) and we've found this to be true with all 6 of our kids! They were all 45 min wonders. After weeks of resettling and me being really consistent with settling techniques, DS is now often able to resettle himself and will sleep for 1.5-2hrs at a time without a peep.

Keep up the good work, it is so hard and I've definitely had days/weeks where I've struggled with it and there's been lots of tears (from me, not him ) but it's so worth it when you reap the rewards!

[Ezz]

Willow - I'm so glad you added that. He's 11 weeks now - so I guess I might not see improvements for a while. I have realised that he's actually pretty good at self-settling initially (he'll be asleep within 15 mins if I just keep putting that dummy back in!) - but he really hates the resettle!! I find I can't resettle him in the cot at all & I just give up after 5-10 mins because he's crying & won't settle. Even if I pick him up to calm him down, he cries as soon as I put him in the cot. So at the moment, he is sleeping on my lap, on a pillow!

After weeks of resettling and me being really consistent with settling techniques, DS is now often able to resettle himself and will sleep for 1.5-2hrs at a time without a peep.

Congrats! What did you do to resettle him? Did you have a point at which you would give up on the resettle & just hold him?

[Willow]

I have realised that he's actually pretty good at self-settling initially (he'll be asleep within 15 mins if I just keep putting that dummy back in!) - but he really hates the resettle!!

Same with both of mine!! It was explained to me that the initial settling off to sleep is one milestone, the waking at the end of a sleep cycle, looking around and resettling is another milestone which is a bit more difficult and comes later (although some babies do this from birth - lucky mums!)

Initially I would race in as soon as I heard him wake, but after watching him at sleep school, I realised I was actually hindering the process by not allowing him time to try to resettle on his own and learn what he could do without help from me. So then I let him grizzle for a while ie not distressed or properly crying - it's very important to LISTEN to what your baby is telling you, he will let you know if he needs you and then you should respond straight away - it is building this trust in you that will allow him to feel secure enough to go to sleep on his own. Sometimes he would go back to sleep, others he would start to cry so I would go in, give him his dummy, shhhhhh, stroke his forehead then leave the room. Often this was enough (and now if I need to resettle this is all it takes), other times I would have to pat him, shhh, give him a cuddle till he settled and then pop him back in his cot and start the process again. 'They' say to persist with resettling for another sleep cycle, so between 20-40 mins. 40 mins was too stressful for me so I set the benchmark of 30 mins. If he hadn't resettled after that then realistically he wasn't going to and I'd get him up, feed him if it was time and then watch him for tired signs again. When I saw them, I'd put him back to bed.

Just remember not to get too stressed out thinking 'he hasn't resettled and hasn't slept enough today' - this was a mistake that I made and totally stressed myself out! It's a process, it's the repetition and consistency that's important.

It's just like any other skill you teach them - by doing it over and over again! Not much fun for mum sometimes but it does work!

[Cally]

Ezz - I didn't do anything at the time that made her resettle.

Now when she wakes and we want her to go back to sleep, I put a hand on her tummy and her chest and either 'ssshhh' or 'Baa Baa Black Sheep'. During the day, I give her 15 minutes and if she hasn't gone back to sleep then I figure she's awake. Oernight, I do it for 30 minutes before feeding her.

[Ezz]

YAY! DS had a 2 hour afternoon nap in the cot!!!! I heard him grizzle, then resettle himself - I didn't have to go in at all! I was downstairs, defrosting my fridge & praying that he would stay asleep & he did!! I was so excited I called DH to tell him!! It's the first decent sleep in the cot in over a week. I think it helped that I took down the mobile that was hanging over his ciot - I realised that he was staring at that rather than going to sleep.

Cally - Yeah, I think 15 mins is about my max too! (realistically, at the moment, once he's been unsettled for 5-10mins, he is unlikely to resettle unless I'm cuddling him)

Willow - Thanks for your encouragement . I do worry that he doesn't get enough sleep some days (which is why I end up holding him on the couch for two hours so at least he will sleep!)

[Willow]

That is so exciting Ezz!!

Trust me, BTDT and it is like winning lotto!! LOL.

[Ezz]

I started the self-settling on Tuesday afternoon & had our first success Wed arvo. Have now had a successful day (Thurs) - DS did a 1 hour sleep in the morning, then 2 x 2hour day sleeps! Today seems to be going well so far too! Thank you everyone for your encouragement